While tracking
My star,
Across the sky
Towards the west,
Following color
Streaks,
And the
Blackest
Deep,
Succumbing,
I closed
My eyes
Just for
A moment,
To rest,
So tired,
So weary was
This human flesh.
Then opened,
Startled
Awake.
The cosmos
Lurched,
A small
Gap.
My eyes,
Opened wide,
Saw the world
Had moved over
And I had not.
The ground
Was no longer
The same ground.
Red clay
Had become shale,
Sliding and unstable,
Mountains
And foothills
Pulled themselves
From beneath my feet.
I jumped and ran
But could not catch
Anything solid.
Nothing of
Substance,
Nothing
Of honor,
No truth,
What had been
Became what was not.
What would be,
Became,
What is never.
Running and
Running,
As soon
As my feet
Would feel,
Some surface,
And pause,
Only
An instant,
Only to orient,
To take
A direction
Reading,
Solid became
Liquid
And mud became mist.
I sank,
Clawing at
Words slipping
Away as breath,
As fog,
As illusion
Forcing me
To leap and
Prong, and
Fly dancing
In pursuit
Of the reality
That had gone,
Leaving my perceptions
Blinded by
Streaming tears,
My song unheard
In anguished echoes,
No meaning
But a garble of loss.
The old people
I knew,
Became new people
With different lives,
New relationships,
That I never
Dreamed in
The dreaming worlds,
Never touched
In the
Waking worlds,
These new worlds,
New beings,
Had been
Building
Themselves,
Generating
Shimmering surfaces
Only as approached,
Dissolving
When out of sight,
Described
With new languages
Of no meaning,
No feeling,
Only confusion,
A chaos new faces,
Grown older,
Grown different,
New ideas,
Translated fantasies,
Spoken in
Gibberish,
And I was
Spinning.
As each thought
Passed by me,
Tweaking my
Body,
Nudging me
To turn
A little,
To turn my head,
To my memory,
Turn and turn,
Turn my heart,
And a turn
A little
More, and
Turn more,
Faster and faster,
Until I became
A plasma wind
Spinning
In place
While all that
I knew,
As comfort,
As familiar,
As love,
Whirled around,
My spinning
Life,
My whirling death,
Dancing away
On a receding tide
Of regret.
I ran and
Ran dancing,
Crying for
Mercy,
Circling the
Abyss,
The deepest
Well of yesterdays,
Of lost
Tomorrows,
Dark shadows
Of never to be.
Spinning
Light,
Spinning
Plasma,
Hot,
Melted light,
Between what was
And what
Had now
Become
What is not.
My hair
Flew out
From my
Whirling head,
Each individual
Hair a voice
Screaming and
Whistling,
Calling spirit
Back
Into myself,
To become
All one
With the nothing
Of no hope.
I whirl,
One hand
Raised,
Open
To the vastness
That is beyond
The knowable
Seven Skies;
One hand,
Gentle across
My own
Beating heart,
And I turn,
And turn,
And I turn.
.
BECOMING WHAT IS NOT
Bear … 11.15.2015
ⓒBearspawprint2015

Roy

At night,  
When all was quiet and still, 
I watched from the darkness.
I saw the glowing 
Red light of fire, 
As the forge roared 
And sparks were shooting,
Bursting, dazzling, 
The star magic 
Of metal transmuted.  
I heard the roaring forge,
The whoosh and quenching sizzle,
Then the Mighty Hammer 
Bang BANG  
Bang BANG, 
An ancient song
Of strength and steel, 
The heartbeat of creation,
Intent and work, 
Forged and quenched and hammered,
Bang BANG,
Bang BANG. 
The shadows flow
And retract,
Flow and retract.
I watched 
From the darkness,
The Night Gifted Magician, 
Immersed in creation,
Forging swords, 
And blades, and tools;
Each carrying its own 
Particular 
Blessing of Power.
. 
Roy
05September2021
ⓒBearspawprint2021

She Spoke

Owl spoke
To me, last night. 
She gifted a word,
From her
Ancient language.
Misunderstanding,
Her intent,
I answered aloud,
Speaking
As an echo
The sound
Of the new word.
Owl spoke,
Again. 
I almost understood.
Almost.
I thanked
Grandmother Owl,
In English.
In silence,
She flew.
In darkness,
She flew.
Close to me,
She flew.
So close,
I saw her,
Against darkness. 
Then,
She was gone, 
In darkness. 
Grandmother
Spoke,
Once more,
Outside of time,
For me to remember,
The meaning. 
I will always
Know this word
In her language,
When again,
I hear her call.

The word 
She spoke is
Death. 
.
She Spoke
August 28, 2021
ⓒBearspawprint2021

ECHO

I am too 
Worn 
Out I blame 
Not my weary 
Small version of 
Existential 
Horror there is 
Only the endless 
The vastness of 
A universe 
Unrequited
My wailing song 
Of harmonics in 
Dissonant chords 
Is rippling forever 
Unheard
In nowhere 
Not music 
Accepting me 
Taking me
Beyond my puny 
Perceptions 
Still there is 
No echo 
.
ECHO
29June2021
©Bearspawprint2021