SITTING

.
.
.
I SIT.
I TURN MY BACK 
TO MYSLEF.
I CREATE WALL,
SOLID, OPAQUE.
I DEADEN MIND. 
I AM QUIET, NOWHERE.
I TURN TO WALL,
DENSE, UNYEILDING,
CONCEIVED OF THOUGHT.
I AM WALL,
I AM NOTHING.
I SIT.
I PERCEIVE WALL.
I PERCEIVE SELF.
I PERCEIVE ANGUISH.
I PERCEIVE HOPE.
I PERCEIVE  NO SELF.
I AM NOT.
THE NOT I NO SELF PERCEIVES.
PERCEPTION IS ILLUSION.
ALL THOUGHT NOTHING,
ETERNAL NOTHING MERGING,
ILLUSION WALL NOTHING.
INWARD INTO NOWHERE,
NO ETERNITY NOTHING.
WALL IS MAYA.
SELF IS MAYA.
ANGUISH IS MAYA.
HOPE IS MAYA.
ALL ILLUSORY NOTHING.
NOTHING IS ALL.
NOWHERE.
BETWEEN THE INFINITE NANO.
ANCHORED IN THIS LIFE
BY MY BODY, BY LOVE. 
SORROW,  SHADOW  NOTHING.
ALL ONE  SWIRLING, DREAMING,
SWIMMING THROUGH NO LIGHT,
UNREAL ILLUSION THOUGHT. 
I  AM MY OWN WALL.
I DISSOLVE SELF NO WALL.
NO THOUGHT MERGED
SELF MINDLESS.
ALL MAYA.
I AM NOWHERE. 
I AM HERE.  
I AM DEAD.
I AM HOME.
I AM NOT.  
SIT. 
SITTING.
NOTHINGNESS.
.
Bear … 02.19.2014

Thank You Thank You Thank You

.
.
.
The let down
Shut down
Put away
In the way
Extra
Duplicate
Redundant
Want the thought
Want the care
Want the love
Want the reason
Why this
Just to get some
Damned thing
Quick
Out of the way
In the way
A reminder
Of hasty grabbing
Straws for deadline
Panic purchase
Giving nothing
Appearance an illusion
No heart
Almost thought
Push button purchase
Done
Lost heart
No heart
Heartless gadget
See through the thing
To thought behind
The gift
Dizzy with the searching
Why why why why
Spinning
Touch deflected
Wobbling
Fall
Same
Always the same
My fault
Ingrate
Ungrateful
Want the care
Want the thought
Want the love
No thought
No care
Spinning
Deflected
Falling orbit
Let down
Shut down
Put away
In the way
Extra duplicate redundant
No thought
No care
Not there
No heart
Lost heart
.
.
Bear  12.27.2013
.
.