Something Has Changed

.
.
I have evaporated
Ephemeral floating
Outside of myself
For a moment
.
Even I have
Abandoned myself
.
I watch a hollow shell
Sitting aural migraine
Visual disturbances
Sitting 背座あ empty
.
Even I have
Abandoned myself
.
But watching
Through fog
Prismatic shimmer
Waiting waiting
.
Willing the pain
Into the ocean
Willing the pain
To go away
.
Even I have
Abandoned myself
.
Waiting to reenter
The center of pain
A body that shimmers
Blue all around
.
I am no more
Beauty all colors
.
Reluctant to be
I continue to rest
Just above a head
That is familiar
.
I am no more
Intense humming glorious
.
Outside of suffering
I am away
The weather is nice
My body sits alone
.
Even I have
Abandoned myself
.
My body sits 背座あ
Wisp of essence
Visits with trees
With Loa humming
.
Something is grateful
Something swirls
.
Sadly I return
I am myself
Something has changed.
Something has not changed.
.
.
Bear… 09.26.2014
ⓒBearspawprint2014
.
.

SITTING

.
.
.
I SIT.
I TURN MY BACK 
TO MYSLEF.
I CREATE WALL,
SOLID, OPAQUE.
I DEADEN MIND. 
I AM QUIET, NOWHERE.
I TURN TO WALL,
DENSE, UNYEILDING,
CONCEIVED OF THOUGHT.
I AM WALL,
I AM NOTHING.
I SIT.
I PERCEIVE WALL.
I PERCEIVE SELF.
I PERCEIVE ANGUISH.
I PERCEIVE HOPE.
I PERCEIVE  NO SELF.
I AM NOT.
THE NOT I NO SELF PERCEIVES.
PERCEPTION IS ILLUSION.
ALL THOUGHT NOTHING,
ETERNAL NOTHING MERGING,
ILLUSION WALL NOTHING.
INWARD INTO NOWHERE,
NO ETERNITY NOTHING.
WALL IS MAYA.
SELF IS MAYA.
ANGUISH IS MAYA.
HOPE IS MAYA.
ALL ILLUSORY NOTHING.
NOTHING IS ALL.
NOWHERE.
BETWEEN THE INFINITE NANO.
ANCHORED IN THIS LIFE
BY MY BODY, BY LOVE. 
SORROW,  SHADOW  NOTHING.
ALL ONE  SWIRLING, DREAMING,
SWIMMING THROUGH NO LIGHT,
UNREAL ILLUSION THOUGHT. 
I  AM MY OWN WALL.
I DISSOLVE SELF NO WALL.
NO THOUGHT MERGED
SELF MINDLESS.
ALL MAYA.
I AM NOWHERE. 
I AM HERE.  
I AM DEAD.
I AM HOME.
I AM NOT.  
SIT. 
SITTING.
NOTHINGNESS.
.
Bear … 02.19.2014