Granny in the Information Age

TRUE STORY

Yesterday while chatting with my six year old granddaughter, answering questions about the nearby West Mims fire and how the various animals would be cared for if and when an evacuation of our home was required. Then she asked when I, and the critters  and Grandpa, were going to live in her backyard in a camper.  I replied that depended on the the fire activity and vagaries of wind and weather.

So this precocious little girl asked me what the fire was doing right then, May ten.  Having spent the day away from the computer and away from home and away from the fire area I couldn’t tell her.

That is when my age showed.

My six year old Granddaughter looked at my phone, what I call a telephone, but is really a mini-commputer, and said “Don’t you have Google?”  I replied I sort of did,  but that a box kept appearing telling me I had to do some rigamarole and download applications and buy things and so I didn’t use it. 

As I was telling her this, she reached across, mashed some icons on the touchscreen, to fast for me to see while I was watching her lovely face, then looked at me and said “There you go.”

Ha!  I started to say, “See  what I mean … ”  BUT there was an available search page for Google.  I had been struggling with this for months.  In less than two seconds she solved that problem.

I did the search, and found the information available, at that time, about the fire.  I did know where to look, but not how to use my device. 

This same child figured out how to advance through the photo library in my first digital camera when she was three.  I had no idea how to do it.  I was afraid I would delete what was not saved elsewhere.  She had no such ego fears.

This is a different world from the one in which I grew up.

Agawela May 11, 2017
ⓒBearspawprint2017

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BEAR WAS FEELING FROGGY

TWO HIGHLY EFFECTIVE INSULTS
GUARANTEED TO GET RESULTS

BEAR … 11.20.2015
ⓒBearspawprint2015

ONE MISERABLE DAY,
BEAR WAS
FEELING FROGGY.
WITH HER WEAPONS 
OF WORDS
SHE DEFLATED FAT EGO
AND OVER BLOWN
SELF IMAGE,
MUCH MORE EFFECTIVELY
THAN THE USUAL
RUDE GESTURES
AND SILLY FINGER BIRDS.
__________________________

IF YOU TOOK ALL
OF YOUR KINDNESS,
THOUGHTFULNESS,
AND COMPASSION …
ROLLED IT INTO A BALL
AND SHOVED UP
YOUR OWN ASS,
YOU WOULD NOT HAVE
ENOUGH HOT AIR TO PASS
EVEN A TINY LITTLE FART.
____________________________

IT IS A GREAT DEAL MORE FUN TO CHEW SAND,
THAN TO MAKE LOVE WITH YOU.
If you borrow these words,  be prepared for responses you may not expect.
Hahahahaha
Bear … 11.20.2015
ⓒBearspawprint2015

Forbearance

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“Be careful what you ask for” has been the theme and/or moral of fables and stories and sermons for several thousand years.

I made
The mistake
Of asking for
Forbearance.
I have
Also been
Granted
Many opportunities
For the practice
Of
My gift.
I am
Wondering
If
Massive irritation,
Maddening frustration,
Swallowed anger,
And
Sublimation of self
Are
Always
Part of the
Forbearance
Package?
Who
Decided
Forbearance
Was a
Package deal,
Anyway?
I didn’t
Catch any
Golden Fish.
I didn’t
Net any
Magical birds.
I didn’t
See any
Leprechauns.
I merely
Told the
Prayer Warriors,
When asked,
What I needed
To fulfill
What has been
Asked
Of me.
Was that
So terrible?
Now I have
Been reborn.
I am a
Forbearing
Donkey.
.
.
Bear … 07.13.2015
ⓒBearspawprint2015
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.

Hard Times

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.
Times are so hard
I must plow my
Garden’s furrows
Using a spoon.
Scarabs roll away
The fertilizer
And doves peacefully
Eat all the seed.
I harvest from my
Rocking chair,
‘Cause nothing
Is there.
Sweeping’s a chore,
For I must use
My toothbrush,
Which leaves my
Teeth all snaggly,
And to trim the
Grass my scissors
Must do.
The walkway is
Deep gluey mud,
And the road bed?
It’s loose
Blowing sand.
My life is in files
All numbered thirteen.
But I am blessed,
Oh so blessed,
As long as chlorophyll
And my eyes
Are still green,
And tiny arms hug.
Oh the joy that
Children are both
Heard and seen.
.
.
Bear … 06.07.2015
ⓒBearspawprint2015

GRANNY (me) with Photographer (Granddaughter) reflected twice in the sunglasses  ⓒBackSeatPhotography2014

GRANNY (me) with Photographer (Granddaughter) reflected twice in the sunglasses ⓒBackSeatPhotography2014

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8. Conversations With Bump Onna Log

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BUMP ONNA LOG:      It’s OK. There is nothing to feel bad about. I don’t care that you have this neuro-whatever thing, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of me doing what I like to do, or me going on the trips that I enjoy.

BEAR:   So it doesn’t bother you that I have an incurable degenerative disorder that has been causing me pain, agony, anguish, suffering and grief for many years, will continue to do so, and  this diagnosis  confirms it will only get worse?

BUMP ONNA LOG:      Why should it bother me?

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.
Bear … 05.12.2015
ⓒBearspawprint2015

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For an explanation (ha!) and links: Bump Onna Log

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