.
.
Greater than your love
Is your fear of helplessness.
You justify yourself with reasons
And your preferred, deserved activity.
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
All of your love.
.
Your cold feigned indifference,
Becomes empty comfort withheld,
Substituted with your own needs for
Reassurance, and soothing ego strokes.
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
Your great strength.
.
You want appreciation, adoration,
To be honored for your cowardice
As a misled hero, you are stoic while
You hide in oblivious ignorance.
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
All that you know.
.
You appear to suffer doing everything
Your own way, knowing you have
Been abandoned by your stoppered ears.
My cries, you say, you can not hear.
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
What you can hear.
.
What you refuse to see is unreal.
It isn’t your burden to carry.
How can you have sympathy or care
About phantasms and silly emoting?
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
Your magnanimous care.
.
You do not know where I live.
You have made up reasons for your
Absence, for your banishment of the
Unbearable, your ego is piled as stone walls.
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
The wall that isn’t there.
.
Lies provide warmth for the cold,
Cold fear masquerading as
Contempt for my pain. Beyond your
Experience there is nothing.
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
Your experience.
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
All of your love.
.
.
Bear … 05.25.2014
ⓒ Bearspawprint 2014
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Tag Archives: EVERYDAY COURAGE
Starlight Warmth
.
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There has come to be a time,
When I can choose, to make yesterday
A time when I felt no pain,
A time when I was never young.
.
Young could become a fantasy,
Of youth, fleeting
For a moment of joy, or
Agony, that is no longer.
.
To let it all go,
The good goes with the bad,
There is nothing left
Of the inextricably entwined.
.
But I shall sky dance in the ocean,
Breathing in darkness and starlight,
And I shall sweat heavy tears of despair
In the eternal sun-hot misery now.
.
I choose to keep it all,
The wild joys and freedom of youth,
The bitter yellow betrayals,
The glories of life and love.
.
I want to swim in all of remembrance,
Before forgetfulness takes me away.
Darkness is mystery and the yet to be,
Starlight includes the all.
.
I am my own sun-hot frozen despair.
I am the starlight warmth of hope.
I am all of my own deaths and lives.
We are all that was and will be.
.
.
Bear… 05.24.2014
ⓒ Bearspawprint 2014
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I Thank You
.
Sweet Potatoes in February
.
.
Night has fallen
There’s a cold
Pouring rain
All around inside me
Is sadness and pain
Dark swirl into night
With a myth
That is warm
Serve fresh hot bread
With olives and cheese
Hot sweet potatoes
Remind of the sun
Create light laughter
Pretend it is fun
Remember remember
You make up the rest
There is love in the act
Only reply with gentle tact
Treat as a patient
Courteously serve
Expectations quite rigid
Wants grab at my hands
Hurt taking my heart
Everyone needs
While trying to hide
Sly gimmies are signaled
With subdued greed
I’ve drawn on more than
What I have left
There’s the Piper to pay
Due any day
The messenger’s here
With private pains full of fear
I humbly ask
Let me finish my task
Until they are stable
I beg please oh please
Let me be able
.
Only the soundless
Word song is mine
.
I dance to my no tune
And that is just fine.
.
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Bear … 02.06.2014.
ⓒ Bearspawprint
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Wind —- By Bear
This damned cursed elixir
Made of Bitterness and gall
Carries no redeeming sweetness.
There is only pain and shame
And that is all.
There are no angel wings to catch me
When twirling off the ledge,
My mocking pirouette adieu.
There is only the wind and the end
And this madness on the edge.
The Terrible Waters of Courage ——- by Bear
Safe ——- by Bear
That “I wasn’t aware”
Does not mean I do not care.
It’s merely that
Your burden is not mine to bear.
My own back is stiff
But not in pain, certainly not the agony
You purport yours to be.
*******
*******
That you live in misery
Is plain for me to see.
If I suggest “Why don’t you go
Back in your little room?”
It isn’t really fate and doom.
I merely prefer to not see
What you have come to be.
*******
*******
If you have movement issues
And stagger and fall,
I’ll assume and accuse
“Too many pills won’t cure all ills.”
Even though I know you
No longer have any meds at all.
*******
*******
But if you cry in despair
As your sting-nettle skin
Burns with electric sizzles in the air
And I say
“Can’t you just take a pill and feel better?”
Even though I do know you
No longer have any meds at all.
*******
*******
When the Jinn pull your hair
And whisper curses in your ear,
Alien words that I will never hear,
It doesn’t mean that
I don’t care
It’s merely what I prefer,
When I say “I wasn’t aware.”
*******
*******
So if you love me
Go.
Hide your pain and misery.
Stay in your little room
Wallow alone in your damned
Doom and gloom
So what if your nerves are shot?
Please know that mine are not.
Don’t ask me for sympathy.
Go. Let me be.
*******
*******
It’s not that I don’t care,
I just want to be safe when I say that
“I wasn’t aware.”
*******
*******
.
Quiet In My Corner — by Bear
I am a household gadget,
Switches flipped and buttons pushed
So long as only on-label
Tasks are swiftly done.
But if I falter, or
Wobble, squeak or whine,
I shall be unplugged.
Powerless I can no longer run.
Learned Wisdom — Bear’s Collection
When Dear Husband became mature enough to reveal his truly appreciative Heart with great Efforts at Attentive Thoughtfulness
and overtly attempted to show the Depth of His Compassionate Understanding,
It became possible to Exemplify
The Wise Repartee of Men in such an Eloquent Quote as:
“Huh? What are you going on about, now?!”