Tag Archives: disability

Difficult Dawn

.
.
Just before
Dawning sun
Arrives
Exhaustion
Too weary
To rest
Too late
For sleep
Something
Akin to
Hunger calls
My skin
To carry
The weight
Of my flesh
Quivering
Into day
Reluctance
Makes more
Effort
Required
Trembling
I watch
Dripping trees
Gain color
While busy
Birds call
Greetings
Singing
With their
Tasks I am
Burdened
With fear
Least I
Falter
My body
Unreliable
Does shame
Or love
Compel
Strength
Does my own
Pain matter
When there
Is work
To be done
Every moment
I must
Evaluate
How to
Do what
Needs doing
Without
Endangering
Others
What can be
Omitted
Easier to
Be alone

Selfishly
I pray
For myself
Please help
Me be cheerful
Today belongs
To my small
Granddaughter

The trees
The birds
Voice an answer
I am grateful
.
.
Bear … 04.14.2015
ⓒBearspawprint2015

Enthralled

.
.

To escape this mess

Which replenishes

Itself expanding

In exponential

Doubling lives

That kill

I shall interrupt

And digress

And drink coffee

And swing my feet

While sitting on

The bulldozed porch

Of your memory house

Or in the ashes

Of my ancient

Burned Tangerine Tree

Or relaxing reposed

In the Aspen Grove

That hides

Quaking shimmering

Under side-walks

And grocery stores

I shall speak to you

Or no one and jabber

Adult nonsense

Hello I am fine as

I pretend not to weep

You will recognize me

By the smile in my eyes

As I sit trapped

On the floor entralled

By children

Drowning in laughter

I cannot rise

Above such moments

Which are

Eternity preserved

.
Bear … July 2014
ⓒ Bearspawprint 2014
.
.
.

Clarity

.
.

The most intimate
Whispers must be yelled
Loudly and clearly
Distinctly pronounced
And still there are gaps
For your mind to fill in
Who knows what you hear
Your mind is too quick
The acoustic spaces are filled
Wrong words interpreted
To assume minor fears
In the murmurs between
Only part do you catch
But so fast is your mind
That all unawares
Audio space unheard really
Empty or blurred
Seems no longer there
Ideas are lost
Feelings are hurt
Care is deflected
Cochlear confusion supreme
Misplaced fury
Swirls ’round
At the chaos profound
Decisions are made
And stubbornly have stayed
Useless to explain
All meaning through
Vestibular understanding
Is gone quite lost
Too involved feeling pain
It’s the stubbornness
That impairs
With foolish pride
As a filter
All changed is the essence
Of everything I say
It hurts quite a bit
Knowing your secret thoughts
Given away by replacing
Your audio censored
By hearing not there
Much easier to say nothing
To ignore the spectrum missing
But that is not right
Clarity and understanding
Are worth the painful fight
.
.
Bear … 02.06.2014

ⓒ Bearspawprint

Too Fast Slow Dance of Death

***
***
Fast.  It is all too fast.
All Swirls Around And Around,
The Too Fast Cyclone Life.
No Escape From
My Swirling Sluggish
Body That Quits,
And Stalls, And
Longs To Linger
In the Limbo Of Lost Love.
Leaving Tasks
Works, Loves,
Children, All Unfinished.
I Am A Slow Sorrow
Caught In My Own
Slowing Sibilant Song,
A Droning Hum Countered
Against The Too Fast
Swirling Star Song Symphony.
The Light Dance, Too fast
For this Dark Dreamless
Dreaming Sleepless Sleep.
All Growth Too fast.
Thought Too Fast.
Song-Lines All Gone.
Decay  Too Fast.
Dreamtime Too Slow.
Flying Forever Too Slowly.
I am Too Fast For Self
To Know.  A Dreamless
Dreamtime Comes The
Too Fast End.
Never Awake,
Slowly Reaching,
Forever Awakening Too Slow.
Too Slow.
Swept Along Too Fast
In The Rushing River Dance
 Of  My Dreaming Illusion Of Slow.
All Unfinished.
 Nothing Complete.
Alone, I Slowly Pass
Through The Too Fast
Slow Dance of Death.
Too Fast I Die.
Funneled Into The
Too Fast Whirlpool,
My Slowing Painful Body.
Dreaming Too Fast Of
The Tasks
Works, Loves,
Children, All Unfinished.
Repose Too Fast.
Slowly I Am Unwound
In  A  Too Fast Gyre,
The Too Fast
Slow Dance Of Death.
***
***
Bear   11.25.2013
ⓒ Bearspawprint 2013
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