What Has Once Lived

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Death is above me

Death is below me

Death is within me and

Death is all around

In the day I fight with Dark

In the night I fear the Light

My heart is Death

And my life is Pain

I shall live completely

Before I die

I have lived before

And I shall live again

I shall live this entire life

Until it is wrenched from me

Though I beg that boon

I also scream

So that no one will know

The words I whisper

Only the deaf hear me

And the blind see my soul

Those with no hands

Wipe the tears from my face

And the legless

Carry me dancing across the sky

What has once lived

Can never entirely die
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Bear … 12.03.2014
ⓒBearspawprint2014
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Window In The Corner Room

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Sequestered
With words
Shielding
Language
Removed
And alone
Hidden in
The small
Corner room
Insulated by
Walls of books
More books
Than air
Doorless
Airless
Hollow rooms
Line corridors
Hallways
Deadened
Of sound
Yet something
Words
Poetry
Mist
Love
Has slipped
Beneath
The one door
My tears
Have dripped
From
Duct work
Condensation
Evidence
I have
Watched
Through the
One drafty
Window
And been
Identified
Running
Across
The sky
Holding
Hands with
Winter clouds
Moonlight
Rainbows
Of silver
Shimmering
Plucked by
Angels
Pizzicato
Star notes
My voice
Ululating the
Swamp cougar’s
Night scream
As of a
Woman in pain
It is I
Am only
A woman
In pain
Or maybe
A ghost
No danger
Save memory
Of guilt
Responsibility
Attention
Elsewhere
Neglect while
Hope was
Possible
I am
Calling to
No one
While
Owls
Answer back
Echoes lost
In dark night
Cold shadows
I have
Become
Free empty
Of your
Concern save
Your fear
That my
Expression
Unguarded
May reveal
My own
Distress
More than
Your own
Fear of
Recognition
I am
The abyss
Looking back
Dancing
Compassion
For your
Self pity
Is not
Your fault
Your anxiety
Fearing
Unknown
Entrapping
Sticky
As the
Impermanence
Of romance
Your love
Ephemeral
Unreal
As wishes
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Bear … 11.30.2014
ⓒBearspawprint2014
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Discordant

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The dark comfort
Of my cries
Has left me.
I thought I wailed
My body’s insult,
Agonized and alone,
Releasing pain,
Screeching
Unchangeable history,
One discordant
Half-step
From music
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But I was wrong.
Worse, my validity
Is merely rejected.
My screaming
Anguish has been
Decreed hysterics,
And ignored,
But for more
Duty traps carefully
Laid as hazard
For escaping
Songs overheard.
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Bear …11.29.2014
ⓒBearspawprint2014
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Agawela’s Lullaby

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There are black shadows,
Hovering close on my bed.
Red pain curls around my back,
Holding me tenderly,
Singing black lullabies,
While I pretend to sleep.
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There are cold shadows,
Creeping from corners,
Where devils once whispered of love.
Chill insinuates beneath the quilts,
A promise of forever, frozen anguish,
A personal token to keep.
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What fright casts such moving shadows,
Which I cannot see defined?
All around is winter still,
But for swirling red-black darkness.
My strength ebbs, alone, with no light.
What is left, but to wail and weep?
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Bear … 11.22.2014
ⓒBearspawprint2014
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Choke The Stars

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Thick black
Fear Washes
Red over
the stars
Coalescing
Turning
Purple
A million
Dazzling
Pinwheels
Behind
My eyes
Below
Ground
Below oceans
Darkness
Erupting
Swirling
To blackness
Beneath
Movement
All around
Resonates
Roars
Too aware
Too much
Hot
A million
Electric
Fires burn
Each synapse
Arching
I leap
And jig
And dance
And cry
Silent
Until oily
Screams
Ululate
Terror
Chokes
The stars
Chokes
The sky
Starves
Song
There is
Nowhere
Without
Dread
And the
Black fires
Overtake
And I
Succumb
And everywhere
Is
Myself
I am
All memory
Not insane
And there is
No death
And there
Is no
Escape
And there is
No hope
And there is
No eternity
And there is
Nothing
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Bear … 10.24.2014
ⓒBearspawprint2014

Summoning Granny Magic

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From where
May I
Summon energy?
My body
Has none.
.
Nerve fatigue
Overwhelms.
I am running
In deficit.
.
Sometimes
Effort,
Beyond my
Capabilities,
Is required.
.
I must borrow
From tomorrow.
.
The Chi is
Becoming equalized
Within my body,
And surrounding.
.
I must evoke
A great deal
Of Granny Magic.
.
I am grateful.
The Magic
Is possible.
.
This long day
Will become
A happy memory.
.
The morrow
Of returns
Will come
Soon enough.
.
Today,
A small child
Is expecting
Her Granny,
With open arms.
.
Granny Magic
Turns everything
Into love filled fun.
Children know.
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Bear … 09.02.2014
ⓒBearspawprint 2014

Gently Captured

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What shall I do,
When all is pain,
And I can produce
Nothing of value?
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What shall I think
When thinking entraps,
Tangled and confused,
In foolish youth lost?
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How can I live,
When I feel only
Grief and heartache,
Pain and sorrow?
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Shall I run away,
Through the veil,
Beguiled with dreams
And illusions?
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Shall I allow
Shimmering wonders
To gently capture me
In illusory pleasure?
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When will I find
This dream-like veil?
I wish to be lost
In soothing mysteries.
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Bear … 08.31.2014
ⓒ Bearspawprint 2014
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