Tag Archives: childhood trauma

Dressed For Dinner or The White Dog That Had To Be Black

One warm evening,

In late Indian Summer,

Mother,

Little Brothers, and

I were eating supper

By the big window,

Near the kitchen.

This window

Overlooked a

Dirt  crossroads.

A street light

Made a

Small pool

Of light

Emphasizing

The surrounding

Darkness of the

Moonless  central

Florida night.

Mother decided

That she would

Find amusement

In  testing

A new theory.

Her hypothesis

For the Proposed

Experiment:

Mother could force

Me to acknowledge

Whatever she decided

Was, was.

Me, her oldest child,

The only daughter,

Her stubborn girl,

Who insisted on fair,

Her child

Implacable in truth,

Would be forced

To say,

White was Black.

She wanted

Me to understand

That from a

Certain perspective

Some things are

More important

Than truth.

I, stupid girl,

Learned nothing.

What is, IS.

Life is truth.

Saying a lie aloud

Is not truth.

The shame

Of survival

Bears it’s

Own witness.

I slyly allowed

Her to pretend

Omnipotence

For the evening.

In magnanimous

Triumph, she

Did not punish

My Little Brothers

For being.

Mother even allowed

Them to eat

Their supper

Without having

To confirm

That the

White dog was

Black.
.
.
Bear . . . original 06.20.2013
. . . revised 06.11.2014
ⓒ Bearspawprint 2014
.
.

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CARRIER OF THE KEY

*
*
*
When I was four,
I learned how to fly.
Away away
From this horror I
Cannot say.
*
To my two Little Brothers,
I taught this useful skill.
Away away
From this horror We
Cannot say.
*
Fly, fly away up high,
Watch it all from the sky.
Away away
From this horror I
Cannot say.
*
Sweet Little Blue Eyed Boys
Could not understand.
Away away
From this horror We
Cannot say.
*
Even with corporal flight, We were
Three children trapped in endless night.
Away away
From this horror We
Cannot say.
*
As Big Sister, when I was four,
I carried the Key to the Magic Door.
Away away
From this horror I
Cannot say.
*
Come fly with me,
Through the Magic Door.
Away away
From this horror I
Still cannot say.
*
Sweet Little Blue Eyed Boys,
Without language, they  had to forget.
Away away
From this horror We
Cannot say.
*
Through the Magic Door
Flew my Brothers and I.
Away away
From this Horror We
Still cannot say.
*
In the fragmented sky,
We were both caught and yet free.
Away away
From this horror We
Cannot say.
*
I remember Sweet Little Blue Eyed Boys,
And I remember Me.
Away away
From this horror I
Remember to not say.
*
Bear  11.29.2013
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WALKING IN THE AIR —  Jackie Evancho
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