The Nothing Beyond Your Expereince

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Greater than your love
Is your fear of helplessness.
You justify yourself with reasons
And your preferred, deserved activity.
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I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
All of your love.
.
Your cold feigned indifference,
Becomes empty comfort withheld,
Substituted with your own needs for
Reassurance, and soothing ego strokes.
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
Your great strength.
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You want appreciation, adoration,
To be honored for your cowardice
As a misled  hero, you are stoic while
You hide in oblivious ignorance.
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
All that you know.
.
You appear to suffer doing everything
Your own way,  knowing  you have
Been abandoned by your stoppered ears.
My cries, you say, you can not hear.
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I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
What you can hear.
.
What you refuse to see is unreal.
It isn’t your burden to carry.
How can you have sympathy or care
About phantasms and silly emoting?
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
Your magnanimous care.
.
You do not know where I live.
You have made up reasons for your
Absence, for your banishment of the
Unbearable, your ego is piled as stone walls.
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
The wall that isn’t there.
.
Lies provide warmth for the cold,
Cold fear masquerading as
Contempt for my pain. Beyond your
Experience there is nothing.
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
Your experience.
.
I am here, living in
The nothing beyond
All of your love.
.
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Bear … 05.25.2014
ⓒ Bearspawprint 2014
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Clarity

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The most intimate
Whispers must be yelled
Loudly and clearly
Distinctly pronounced
And still there are gaps
For your mind to fill in
Who knows what you hear
Your mind is too quick
The acoustic spaces are filled
Wrong words interpreted
To assume minor fears
In the murmurs between
Only part do you catch
But so fast is your mind
That all unawares
Audio space unheard really
Empty or blurred
Seems no longer there
Ideas are lost
Feelings are hurt
Care is deflected
Cochlear confusion supreme
Misplaced fury
Swirls ’round
At the chaos profound
Decisions are made
And stubbornly have stayed
Useless to explain
All meaning through
Vestibular understanding
Is gone quite lost
Too involved feeling pain
It’s the stubbornness
That impairs
With foolish pride
As a filter
All changed is the essence
Of everything I say
It hurts quite a bit
Knowing your secret thoughts
Given away by replacing
Your audio censored
By hearing not there
Much easier to say nothing
To ignore the spectrum missing
But that is not right
Clarity and understanding
Are worth the painful fight
.
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Bear … 02.06.2014

ⓒ Bearspawprint

Thank You Thank You Thank You

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.
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The let down
Shut down
Put away
In the way
Extra
Duplicate
Redundant
Want the thought
Want the care
Want the love
Want the reason
Why this
Just to get some
Damned thing
Quick
Out of the way
In the way
A reminder
Of hasty grabbing
Straws for deadline
Panic purchase
Giving nothing
Appearance an illusion
No heart
Almost thought
Push button purchase
Done
Lost heart
No heart
Heartless gadget
See through the thing
To thought behind
The gift
Dizzy with the searching
Why why why why
Spinning
Touch deflected
Wobbling
Fall
Same
Always the same
My fault
Ingrate
Ungrateful
Want the care
Want the thought
Want the love
No thought
No care
Spinning
Deflected
Falling orbit
Let down
Shut down
Put away
In the way
Extra duplicate redundant
No thought
No care
Not there
No heart
Lost heart
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Bear  12.27.2013
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Coat Of Many Colors

COAT OF MANY COLORS —-  Dolly Parton

COATY OF MANY COLORS by Dolly Parton
Back through the years
I go wonderin once again
Back to the seasons of my youth
I recall a box of rags that someone gave us
And how my momma put the rags to use
There were rags of many colors
Every piece was small
And I didn’t have a coat
And it was way down in the fall
Momma sewed the rags together
Sewin every piece with love
She made my coat of many colors
That I was so proud of
As she sewed, she told a story
From the bible, she had read
About a coat of many colors
Joseph wore and then she said
Perhaps this coat will bring you
Good luck and happiness
And I just couldnt wait to wear it
And momma blessed it with a kiss
Chorus:

My coat of many colors
That my momma made for me
Made only from rags
But I wore it so proudly
Although we had no money
I was rich as I could be
In my coat of many colors
My momma made for me

So with patches on my britches
Holes in both my shoes
In my coat of many colors
I hurried off to school
Just to find the others laughing
And making fun of me
In my coat of many colors
My momma made for me

And oh I couldnt understand it
For I felt I was rich
And I told them of the love
My momma sewed in every stitch
And I told em all the story
Momma told me while she sewed
And how my coat of many colors
Was worth more than all their clothes

But they didn’t understand it
And I tried to make them see
That one is only poor
Only if they choose to be
Now I know we had no money
But I was rich as I could be
In my coat of many colors
My momma made for me
Made just for me