Terrible Balance

.

.

We live

As nomads

Camped

At a fork in

Fractal paths

Of honor

And love

And death

And all paths

Forward

Are filled

With the

Pain and

The danger

The death

The pathos

That is

Already known

No matter

What we do

We must

Keep living

Choosing the

Path of Beauty

Regardless of

What happens

Mindfully

Creating each

Step as a

Footprint

Of caring

And compassion

To be

Possible

Balance

Against

The ugly

Even though

It is all

Ephemeral

As sand

Blown away

By the weather

Or helicopter’s

Spinning blades

Or that

Which is

Feared as

The fractal

Growth of

What I do

Not know

How to say

Or I am

Too much

Afraid

To say

For I fear

The terrible

Balance

Of Good

And Evil

.
.
Bear . . . 07.13.2014
ⓒ Bearspawprint 2014

.

.

 

 

 

Flow To the Ocean

.
.
Why do I not swim?
Have I grown too old,
Too heavily burdened
With memory,
Memories of dancing
In these life waters?
I have become as flotsam,
Swept along by the beauty,
Flowing with words
That I swallow, choking.
Music fills my ears
So that I cannot hear
Your anguished cries.
The work, too constant,
Too strenuous has dragged
Me under in whirlpools
Of despairing fatigue,
While even love no
Longer sustains me.
Helpless, I am part
Of the rushing river,
I flow to the Ocean.
.
.
Bear … 06.13,2014
ⓒ Bearspawprint 2014
.
.

The Scent of Beauty

.
.
Agawela is climbing
The impossible tree,
Searching higher
For the unreachable.
Through the fresh citrus
Scent of glossy green leaves,
Is another, illusive, fragrance,
Calling, a reminder of
Beauty and safety and
Strength, long ago.
Long thorns are everywhere.
She sits a moment to rest
From her climbing search,
Honoring the memory, the
Long ago thorn tree
With her blood.
Quite still, almost invisible
She thinks she hides
Her beauty behind
The pain of thorns,
And the shiny leaves.
If she is high enough,
Unapproachable,
Between Earth and Sky.
Protected by thorns,
By thin branches, then
No one can reach her.
Who would search here?
Only she seeks comfort in
The beauty and danger.
Protected from memory by
The Scent of Beauty
No one will know
She is not behind
The misery, hidden
By beautiful danger.
She is her own misery,
With her pillow
Of thistles
Softening her fear
When sleeping
In childhood dreams.
Where does that flower
Scent come from?
It can not be found,
Standing safely on
The ground,
Or in the comfort of
Loving strong arms.
It is a tree top vine,
Twistings dreams and illusions,
Tiny flowers invisible.
Where is it?
Amongst the thorns
She climbs higher,
Holding tight,
Her sense of balance gone.
Lost years ago,
Balance was left impaled
On another thorn tree,
In another season.
Perhaps she would have fallen
To the ground,
To exposure and being found,
Had not the thorns slowed
Her descent.
No balance, no up, no down,
Only safety behind danger
Misery enveloped, contained in
The Scent of Beauty.
Agawela leaves strands
Of silvery hair tangled
Amongst the thorns
A thank you to the tree
A thank you for the
Scent of Beauty,
The feeling of safety,
For the butterflies, and
Ants and sky and clouds,
For the birds nesting.
Some of Agalwela’s hair,
Her blood, her joy,
Her song in the tree,
Her search for the unreachable,
Those are her thank you,
Received by thorns.

.
.
Bear … 04.10.2014
ⓒ Bearspawprint
.
Agawela = Old Woman — Cherokee (Tsalagi)

VII. GOD SMILED ___ I AM GRATEFUL

.

To the north north west two
Cumulonimbus incus growing
Kept capturing my eye
The anvil tops oddly positioned
So that the longer arms
Were towards each other
Just enough light lingered
To see the rising shapes
Triangulating horizon
I guessed about thirty miles
Two clouds anvil arms reaching
Together merging top and bottom
Dark updraft ice winds
Casting rune shadows
Foretelling lightening wind and rain.
.
Between huge dark framing clouds remained
An open portal to beyond
Empty of rain and ice and cloud
Though within each supporting
Column fierce heavenward drafts
Of crystalline hydrogen two oxygen raged
Building charged current opposites
The darkening sky door sill one
Earth below and the sky door lentil
Both the other
.
I reading shadow runes of rain
Watching all around road sky
No longer thinking perhaps
Dreading a little arriving
At home returning to tedium
Returning to the effort and
Work and pain of doing returning
While the Earth turns and our
Galaxy turns dark silhouetted
Trees came between the charcoal
Clouds the tarnished silver sky
Blackness emphasizing the
Square shape giving view of
Space behind first stars appearing
The not quite full moon concealed
By tall trees now behind me
The black shapes of the trees
To the north thinning as I neared a pasture
And
.
GOD SMILED
.
The black trees still black between
Shrinking for an instant
.
It was gone … everything paled
The after image burned in my soul
How could that Be
I slowed I needed to get off the road
I needed
.
Again
.
GOD SMILED
.
Again
.
I looked all around
There was no one the area deserted
Isolated the pasture empty
Not much shoulder to the road
At crawl speed I drove I didn’t
Want to look away from the sky
It was so quick what if I blink
Too quick to push the shutter
Button can’t look away
Breathing shallow will there
Be a sound a noise something
How could what could I stopped
Gears in park flashers on and
Two wheels still on road hoping
Log trucks did not need to pass
Stretching to see better
Peripherally checking the rear view
No one
Alone
Over come by wonder
.
And a third time
.
GOD SMILED
.
So fast
Less than an instant
Gone
.
Never have I seen something like this
I have been in awe of the sky blazing fire ball
Of a sparkling cave entirely covered in quartz crystals
Of triple rainbows of rainbows that went from
Horizon to horizon I’ve seen the sun set and
The sun rise I’ve seen St Elmo’s Fire I’ve seen alien ball
Lightening twice and colors I’ve seen
The deep blue of glaciers and the blinding white sun
The new green of leaves the red of gushing
Hot blood and the red fire of the setting sun
The yellow gold of October leaves and yellow of oranges
The colors of flowers in bloom of butterflies and birds
The iridescence of beetles and flies eyes
The colorful glow of the squids song and the gracefull jelly fish
Dance I have seen foxfire and will’o’the’whisp
I’ve seen wonders that don’t exist
I’ve seen Yukon glaciers heaven painted purple magenta
Orange snow and rocks minerals in black light
Rubies sapphires emeralds I have seen crystals
Permeated with gold become a color untold
I have seen human eyes with more sweet beauty than
I though possible to behold the stained glass
Of rose windows art windows and art glass
Natures colors and gems ground into pigments
Paintings of masters exquisite yarns tiny violets
Flowering trees swaying soft moss pastel river
Deltas Blue Ridge Mountains home of ancestors
With that soft blue distant haze I have seen
The terrible beauty of a forested mountain on fire
Dark night all around the rushing colors of whirlpools and landslides
Flooded rivers  heavy hurricanes colored winds howling
Multiple tornadoes deathly iridescent silver gray green graceful whirl
But this
This was
.
GOD’S SMILE
.
.
Or did I see an Ascension
Or a cosmic pathway open to another dimension
Or did I a mere silly human see
.
GOD SMILE
.
The most intense colors more bright than
The sun for that instant and they did not
White out the full white spectrum was broken into
Its component all colors
Color is too puny a word for these COLORS
More Bright and Intense than any COLORS I’ve
Ever ever seen or hope ever to see again
.
Miles wide plasma filaments of COLOR divided
Into the full spectrum and beyond arched
Down in an arch more shallow than a rainbow
More like a ray or a beam which
Seemed to spill on the ground just in front of the horizon
So that would be about eight or ten miles away and
COLOR
Then the plasma COLOR beam and the spill and all the COLOR resonance
Was sucked back up
And gone no flickers no glows gone nothing
The two joined Cumulonimbus incus clouds
Where still there the window still there
But there was not another discharge
Apparently those three were massive enough to drain
The two super cells
.
The instant of a rainbow brighter than the sun
For this was a lightening phenomena
And it was actually for those three instants
COLOR more bright more intense than the sun
As if a giant acetylene torch had arched through
Heaven’s prism creating an instant plasma all COLOR
Filament of X, gamma, ELF, VLF, and even dark
Matter all needed to create the visible
And it all was there
That instant plasma COLOR lightening filament
Incorporating all of those elements did come to BE
For the fleeting moment that
GOD SMILED
.
Then it was gone
.
All rainbows pale fuchsias appear drab garnets
Dull the Mallards wings common the Cardinal
Dusty while all color is still gorgeous there
Are no distinct colors anywhere as intense and
brighter than the unshielded sun not here even
.
GOD’S SMILE
.
Is no more and was so quick and so far
Away it did not hurt me the people closer
To where it was could not see the COLOR
Only if your circumstances brought you
To be in the exact spot where I was
Blessed to be at that exact moment
Looking in the correct direction
And not blinking or hunting for a camera setting
Or traffic or cats in the road or been just a
Tiny moment later clearing the trees or
Sooner reaching the next thick stand
Of visually shielding woods

.
It just happened
.
GOD SMILED
.
I am grateful
.
OM TAT SAT
DA DA DA
.
Bear …03.18.2014
.
P.S. After a bit I went home.
.
ⓒ Bearspawprint
________________________________________________

I.      GOD SMILED      https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/14/i-god-smiled/

II.    GOD SMILED       https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/14/ii-god-smiled/

III.  GOD SMILED       https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/15/iii-god-smiled/

IV.   GOD SMILED      https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/15/iv-god-smiled/

V.     GOD SMILED      https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/16/v-god-smiled/

VI.   GOD SMILED       https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/17/vi-god-smiled/

VII.  GOD SMILED      https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/18/vii-god-smiled-___-i-am-grateful/

___________________________________________________

.

V. GOD SMILED

.
.
An angel touched and warned me
So I was cued inside to be
Watchful and waiting
Though I wasn’t conscious
Of what I would be sighting
When I tried to tell the story
The Angels voice came first
It was a strange encounter
This Angel carried a gun
.
In a large entrance lobby
Using the command voice learned
At academy a police woman spoke
To me across the empty space
Ma’am Ma’am Excuse me Ma’am
I looked about to see
If there was anyone else but me
She spoke with such authority
As she strode across the entrée
Yes I asked as a question looking
At her eyes she stopped and looked
Back at me with a hint of surprise
Then a smile like well like
Whoopie Goldberg’s spread
Clear across her face
The beatific young woman
Spoke her Angel message while
Looking right into my soul
Her heart spoke to mine
With a message sweetly divine
You are especially bless-ed
She beamed that glorious grin
With wonder I agreed then I
Said And I think you are much blessed too
Yes Ma’am she radiated joy and nodded
Yes Ma’am I am I surely surely am
You will have a bless-ed evening
She shook her head slightly
Looking right in me she said
Her words again
You are especially bless-ed
God is with you as you go
Smiling gently back at her
Thank you and you also
.
Warm encounters
And stranger’s blessings
Are not unusual at all
But this one was special
This angel with a Taser and a gun
Quiet shoes big belt badge and uniform
She had accosted me only to share
The blessings God had
Placed within her care
Her physic intuition knew of
Something unknown special
Something that
I would be allowed to see
The look of curious wonder
As if I were a source of joy
Enhanced her Angel Blessings
Little sparks and lights
Tiny stars like fairy dust
Shimmered for an instant
Then we turned to our business
Our auras shrinking back
She returned to her station
Watching as I left
.
Gratitude for countless joys
Knowing of beauty beyond what I see
Love children heart merging people
Stars clouds deserts and mountains
So many places I have been allowed
I have swum in rivers and lakes and
Oceans gulfs and streams
Warm volcanic springs
Beauty places all flowing
Through my grateful thoughts
I looked with gratitude
At the sky
.
I watched two herons fly over
Heading away from the setting sun
They passed in front of
The rising soon to be full
Brightly beautiful moon
Then I drove towards home
The direction from
Which this strangely unfolding
Journey had begun
.
.
Bear 03.16.2014

ⓒ Bearspawprint

I.      GOD SMILED      https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/14/i-god-smiled/
II.    GOD SMILED       https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/14/ii-god-smiled/
III.  GOD SMILED       https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/15/iii-god-smiled/
IV.   GOD SMILED      https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/15/iv-god-smiled/
V.     GOD SMILED      https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/16/v-god-smiled/
VI.   GOD SMILED       https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/17/vi-god-smiled/
VII. GOD SMILED       https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/18/vii-god-smiled-___-i-am-grateful/

IV. GOD SMILED

.
.
I’m still working
Writing searching
Filling blank paper
With trying trying
Describing
What I was blessed
To be allowed to see
Was an actual
Phenomena
That I had never
Imagined
Could actually exist
On this plane thus
Far the best description
Of what happened
.
GOD SMILED
.
There is no reason why
No virtues or extra understanding
No sacrifice fasting or religion
No activated brain cells
Or second sight insights
No extra care or love
No reasonable reasons at all as to
Why it should have been me
Allowed to view
That fleeting
Glory Wonder Be
.
There are no similes no
Synonyms or nouns
No adjectives or adverbs
Though words and meanings abound
I’ve studied and I’ve sought
Reason as to how
How it could ever be
Oh Yes it is truly possible
Once in while
We are blessed to see
In this Earthly home we share
What our hearts already know
There is much more
Beyond the awesome of mere beauty
.
I feel it is my duty to
Stretch myself and grow
Do I really really dare?
I am most unworthy and
The cosmos doesn’t care
But I am humbly grateful
.
An angel touched and warned me
So I was cued to be
Watchful and waiting
Though I wasn’t conscious
Of what I had been told
When I tried to tell the story
The Angels voice came first
It was a strange encounter
This Angel carried a gun

.
.
Bear … 03.15.2014

ⓒ Bearspawprint

I.      GOD SMILED      https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/14/i-god-smiled/
II.    GOD SMILED       https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/14/ii-god-smiled/
III.  GOD SMILED       https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/15/iii-god-smiled/
IV.   GOD SMILED      https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/15/iv-god-smiled/
V.     GOD SMILED      https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/16/v-god-smiled/
VI.   GOD SMILED

II. GOD SMILED

.
IF YOU IMAGINE THAT….
.
GOD SMILED
.
AND YOU, OH YES YOU! SAW
WHAT WOULD GLORY LOOK LIKE
WOULD THERE BE COLOR
SOFT ARCHING RAINBOWS
FLOWING CLOUDS WATERFALLS
MOUNTAINS AND MEADOWS
WOULD THERE BE THE VELVET DARK OF PEACE
OR A RETINA BURNING STAR
PERHAPS A RAY BURST OF LIGHT
WOULD YOU LOOSE YOUR SIGHT
WOULD THERE BE MUSIC
OR SOOTHING SILENCE
WOULD THERE BE A SYMPHONY
OF BIRDS AND INSECT HUMS
THE SONG OF WHALES
AN OCEANS ROAR
WOULD THERE BE WINGED ANGELS
FLYING DANCE AND EAGLES
UPDRAFT FLOATING
WOULD THERE BE REQUIRED
FASTING AND PRAYERS
DRUGS OR HEBS OR
CHANTING AND TORTURE
PERHAPS TRANSCENDENT MEDITATION
SELF ABNIGATION CRYING
FALLING ON YOUR KNEES
WOULD YOU NEED A TELESCOPE
OR SPACESHIP ELECTRON MISCROSCOPE
OR INNER IMAGINATION
.
WHAT DO YOU FEEL
WHAT DO YOU THINK
WHAT IS THE REALLY REAL
.
PLEASE
I ASK YOU TO TELL ME …
HAVE YOU SEEN GOD SMILE?
.
Bear … 03.14.2014

ⓒ Bearspawprint
.
What do imagine it would be?
What have you experienced?
.
If you don’t want to reply publically
You may reply here: bearspawprint at yahoo DOT com

.
I was blessed to be allowed to see a true miracle, Wednesday, March 12, 2014 .
I am grateful.

ⓒ Bearspawprint
_______________________

I.      GOD SMILED      https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/14/i-god-smiled/
II.    GOD SMILED      https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/14/ii-god-smiled/
III.  GOD SMILED       https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/15/iii-god-smiled/
IV.   GOD SMILED       https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/15/iv-god-smiled/
V.     GOD SMILED       https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/16/v-god-smiled/
VI.    GOD SMILED       https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/17/vi-god-smiled/
VII. GOD SMILED        https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2014/03/18/vii-god-smiled-___-i-am-grateful/
_______________________

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