Bygones

So much has been right,

Of which we do not

Want to loose sight;

But to ignore the wrong

Makes the hurt

Last too long.

.

Agawela 3.15.2021

ⓒBearspawprint2021

wretched mother

.
wretched mother
mother of misery

it is because
your daughters

were your
daughters born

first and last
as daughters

you believed
cursed as yourself

did understand
that you hid

your true self
away behind shadow

personalities
acceptable for

volunteer hospital
gray ladies and

lovers and husbands
pretend men for

your pretend woman
the mundane horror

you wished to be
sympathized as

treatable simply
by twelve steps

so easy
for which you

had such contempt
that you cursed

yourself acquiring
more pain more

curses to hide that
there was no help

no cure for
the affliction

of your madness
your genius of

understanding
too easily

your suffering despair
for your desire to be

liked and wanted
and loved and

forgiven for
being born

too late to
take back

to undo your birth
cursing your own

mother’s womb
for bearing you

destroying your
mother’s life

your birth
revealing

your father’s
perversion

and your innocence
you never recognized

hidden by longing
hunkering behind

flames and smoking shadows
obscuring your outline

occluding the vision
of those around you

in a murky world of
pain and misery

your sons your
daughters grew

drinking smoke and
eating shadows

watching
chimeras dance

holding hands with
devils you married

the lullabies
you sang of your

unloved heart
knowing both that

you were the queen
of most loveable

and loved for
your illusions

and unloved
untouched

in your true self
save by tormented

captive children
while you danced

with your lovers
your jin husbands

drinking gin
cursing your self

cursing your children
cursing your nothing gods

cursing your death
cursing your salvation

wretched mother
mother of misery
.
.
Bear … 06.30.2014
ⓒ Bearspawprint 2014