Category Archives: marraige

Bygones

So much has been right,

Of which we do not

Want to loose sight;

But to ignore the wrong

Makes the hurt

Last too long.

.

Agawela 3.15.2021

ⓒBearspawprint2021

Dissonance

By the riverside,

We walked, myself, and three dogs.

The dogs were content.

.

Bear 23November2020

ⓒBearspawprint2020

Dark Dance

Straddling fault lines,
We dance above the abyss.
There is no safety.
.
Bear 30January2020
ⓒBearspawprint2020

28th Anniversary

.
There are
Moments,
Intense
With sweetness,
That linger,
Soothing,
Gently touching,
Trailing ripples
Through dreams.
Love whispers
Of time passing,
A grief that
Is a joy,
Of what was,
Or might
Have been.
Other years
Are lost,
In sorrow,
The lonesome
Memories
Fragmented,
Washed to
Pureness
With tears.
Yet, our hearts
Are still
Shared, with
Words not said.
Unseen, we
Spirit dance,
Our love
Blending in
Swirls like
Wind,
And music
Entwined
To evolve
The whole,
That is us,
Together,
In love.

28th Anniversary
01May2020
ⓒBearspawprint2020

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Final False Witness

 
I have
Been advised
That boot
Strap pulling
Up would
Be my
Salvation 
If only
I put
Real effort
Into smiles 
And winks
And wiggles
Perhaps I
Can use
The bootstraps
Wrapped twice
Around to
Pull myself
Up I
Will have
No use
For laceless  
Boots when
I am
Pulled up
To the
Proper stratum
Will you
Find it
Acceptable
For me
To do the
Pulling up
From your
Front hoe
The excessive
Burden of
Useless weight
Won’t stress
Your back
Already carried
By the tractor
Will you
Be compensated
Enough
For your
Bother if
A message
About your
Infinite generosity
Your compassion
Is written
In big letters
Thus protecting
Your stalwart
Reputation
You did
The best
You could
May I borrow
Your block
And tackle
I could
Jump from
The come
Along lever
I know
You don’t
Like for
Me to
Intrude in
Your space
Or plans
But it’s
Just once
And I
Have nowhere
I won’t
Ever ask
Again
I might
Have to
Tie my
Boot straps
To the
Tie-off rope
I shall
Do all
Set up
And arranging
But no
Matter what
I am sorry
You will
Be stuck
With some
Clean up
But it
Is just
This one
Time  finally
Pulled up
By my
Bootstraps
And you
Can gossip
With whomever
You like
After all
You have
Suffered
Sacrificed
Tolerated
You deserve
To be allowed
This final
False witness
 
Agawela May 21, 2015
ⓒBearspawprint2015

Found in an old file

Old Woman Old Woman

Old Woman Old Woman
Why do you wander alone in the forest?
.
Dear Child Dear Child
I am not all alone in these woods.
The forests are filled with dreams and memories
That I have cast away and tried too hard to forget.
.
Old Woman Old Woman
Why do you wander alone in the forest?
.
Dear Child Dear Child
I am gathering back into my heart the
Flowing beauty songs of dead lovers and the
Blooming new growth of cast away dreams and pain.
.
Old Woman Old Woman
Why do you wander alone in the forest?
.
Dear Child Dear Child
My wandering is my dance, my own memory dance,
Through forests of trouble and learning and work.
I am dancing through the veiled mists of time.
.
Old Woman Old Woman
Why do you wander alone in the forest?
.
Dear Child Dear Child
I am gathering together the music of
Thrown away dreams and lost love songs,
I am dancing in the joy of remembrance and loss.
.
Old Woman Old Woman
Why do you wander alone in the forest?
.
Dear Child Dear Child
Leave me now, please go. You cannot wander
Here, where my remembered life is too thorny.
I must gather my own lost song back together, dancing alone.
.
Old Woman Old Woman
Why do you wander alone in the forest?
.
Dear Child Dear Child
Go, sing of your new life and struggles. Sing
With hope in your heart and litter the woods not with dreams.
Leave me. I must dance, weeping alone in the forest.
.
Old Woman Old Woman
Why do you wander alone in the forest?
.
.
Bear … 04.13.2014
ⓒ Bearspawprint2014

Hollow Flesh

.
.
His flesh is empty.
His voice is
The Black Wind
Carrying no message.
Behind his eyes
Linger screams
Of children,
Destroyed.
His ears are stoppered
With deceit and lies.
He is death
Clothed in
Platitudes.
He is Hollow Flesh.
.
Agawela 05/19/2019
©Bearspawprint 2019

Gaslighting 💔 Difficult Questions

Gaslighting
Difficult Questions –“Asking for a friend” — doing some research for a story
💔

1. Can persons who, in their personal relationships, habitually, and with great cleverness, and feigned reasonableness “gaslight” EVER sincerely apologize and express true remorse?

2. Can charming and accomplished persons, who habitually “gaslight” in personal relationships, EVER, be trustworthy in personal relationships?

3. Can persons who chronically “gaslight” EVER acknowledge to themselves, or anyone else, what they are doing?

4. Is it possible for persons, who are comfortable with “gaslighting”, to resolve, with TRUE INTENT, to change their behavior patterns?

5. Can persons who “gaslight” EVER even WANT to change behavior?
______________________________________________

Is there ANYTHING within a personal relationship that can curtail “gaslighting” or mitigate the damage?

Are any of the following feasible?
a. Choose neutral circumstances and talk, in an educational way, about gaslighting and consequences.
b. Whenever one becomes aware that gaslighting and/or deception is happening, call out the gaslighter.
c. Negotiate.
e. Seek professional counseling.
f. Give up and part ways, as much as possible.

________________________________________________

Is there anyway to make GASLIGHTING not be, at all, rewarding to the gaslighter?
________________________________________________

Most sources available, via the internet, suggest that {f. Give up and part ways, as much as possible.} is the only healthy scenario.

05/14/2019
Sharon Rudd
©Bearspawprint 2019