The Silence of Thorns

No longer

May I live

Near human

People so politely

Ignorant I scream

Uncaring civilized

And cry wailing

Too much and

Not enough bereft

Of the Veil

Some days all nights

Continuously calling

Screaming despair

While writing

While sewing

While making love

While mending

While wandering silent

Creating reasons

Of disillusioned basic

Belief agreement

Thinking unacceptable

Discordant weeping

While cooking sleeping

Other beings cringe

Shrinking from

My broken primal

Screaming wailing

Cries follow me

My own meteor tail

Of illuminated grief

What will never be

Yet waves flow

Rippling eternal

Illusion adorns my

Body as garments

Woven from despair

Sorrowing siren calls

I may never find the

Echoing perimeter

Of pain heartache

Buzzing louder

Harmonic pulses

Louder scream song

Enduring in the shouted

Silence continuously

I wail Anguish

Impenetrable

This barrier of Banshee

Screeching thorns

.

Agawela 03-13-2021

ⓒBearspawprint2021

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Dissonance

By the riverside,

We walked, myself, and three dogs.

The dogs were content.

.

Bear 23November2020

ⓒBearspawprint2020

Positive Talk About SARS-COVID-19 (Bwahahahaha)

SOMETHING POSITIVE AND UPBEAT FOR YOU NO-MASKERS (unless you absolutely have to) THAT CAN ONLY TOLERATE POSITIVE GRIN GRINNY GUIDELINE GRUNTS as information; WHO CONSIDER COMMON SENSE TO BE A NEGATIVE INFLUENCE. WELL NO COMMON SENSE WRITTEN HERE. BACK ATCHA’ DEARIES
However, the BTW, at the end, is sensible.

It will be OK. 🌻 We just won’t test to confirm and then there won’t be any stats to count, hence no spike, no new infections. Viola!! 🌻
And since we know that two layer cotton masks work absolutely better than no masks, we can just slim down the anti-masker overpopulation and that will be good for everyone! 🌻 Hooray there might even be a surplus of empty housing … that no one can afford! 🌻
As for dead people, just say that any extra, two hundred thousand plus, in USA, dead people died from some other problem or co-morbidity and that this silly fickle (mutating) virus was just on the sidelines watching. 🌻
Don’t worry about any healthcare workers such as nurses or doctors or technicians or housekeeping staff, or any of those, folks. After all, risk is just part of the job. Right? Sensible people wouldn’t do a risky job like that, taking care of you, and other sick or injured persons. 🌻
There. All better. No problems in Florida. 🌻
The 37(+) dead in Nassau county don’t count, because they are dead already. 🌻
Nothing negative here. All copacetic 🌻 My goodness, even the resulting disabilities and lingering ill health are positive, because they are getting MORE, you know, POSITIVE, PLUS, not less, not minus.

BTW, It is OK to change your mind. Some of the best people have done so.
Keep in mind that old people did not get old by acting foolishly to endanger others and self, like no-maskers.

26Septmber2020
Agawela ©Bearspawprint2020

I should not have said stupid. I should have said foolish. Gonna change it. I’ve done plenty of foolish things, but mostly they did not endanger others. That is a criteria I took into account.

Into The Abyss We Dare

Twirling and whirling,

Into the abyss we dare.

Dancing with devils,

Screeching and weeping,

We sing out our song,

A new song of death.

We sneeringly mock

Our own hopes and

Our dreams.

Souls are trafficked

In an internet cloud,

For with clicks and

Broken hearts,

The loss of free will.

In the abyss we dance,

With the same ancient

Devils we know.

.

Bear 09September2020

©Bearspawprint2020

Dark Dance

Straddling fault lines,
We dance above the abyss.
There is no safety.
.
Bear 30January2020
ⓒBearspawprint2020

Children’s Legacy

.
.
Shall we all
One day be
Chernobyl Wolves
Running wild
Free
In a verdant
Wasteland of
Mutated glory
.
.
Agawela … 5January2020
ⓒBearspawprint2020

Escape

.
.
This roof compresses my pain
Too tight knotted freedom binds
The sitting ghost composes wishes
Shuts the door heavy everywhere
The anguish I cannot contain
Swims in a liquid sky
Escaping through windows
The burning meteor glass
Shatters in rising suns
What sorrow has come again
Having never dispersed
The war twists dancing
On one leg stork stepping
Is joy an illusion of the insane
.
.
Bear…07.30.2016
ⓒBearspawprint2016
Reblog

The Shut Door

The Shut Door – non fiction

Not so long ago, late October of 2015, in an extremity of exhaustion, … physical and emotional, my little car’s gas gauge even said empty, I went to a close relative’s home to ask to rest there for the night. Before I could ask for help, I was harshly turned away. My loved ones answered the door and yelled at me “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??? ARE YOU CRAZY???!!!” This was at 8:00 PM.

I sat for a while, looking at the locked house, trying to collect my destroyed self back into my exhausted body from where I had shattered in a silent explosion of despair and grief. I didn’t understand what had happened.

It is true I did not follow proper social protocol and telephone several days ahead to ask if it was OK for me to stop by at a particular time on a prearranged evening. However, the circumstances, that brought me there, had made that courtesy completely impossible. But they didn’t know that. I took some time trying to figure out what had triggered such an extreme negative reaction to my own terrible need, and my joyous happiness, at seeing family after a prolonged (and for me, terribly trying) absence.

I had some water, which I drank. The purity of the mountain well water restored me physically. I am grateful. The personal heartbreak of the shut door has never left me.

My gas tank was empty, but I still had enough money for fuel, so I went to get it, before I continued my journey.

I stopped at a convenience store with poor exterior lighting and the parking lot was surrounded by heavy shrubbery. The clerk was a woman working alone in a “convenience” store. She asked me to stay with her a while, as it was night, well after dark, and she was alone and afraid of some persons hanging around at the edge of the parking lot. I also had noticed them while gassing up.

After the persons had gone. I stayed with her until she expressed relief, and acted, with her body language, as if she felt strong and safe again. She had also made arrangements for some nearby friends to phone her regularly.

Was this event the REAL reason that I was turned away?

Bear — 31December2019
ⓒBearspawprint2019

Black Dog

.
There is
A Black Dog
In the corner.
He is trapped
By my despair.
His beauty
Is my anguish.
His glory
Is my pain.
He whimpers
And he howls.
Black Dog’s
Escape is fear.
Death, betrayal
And indifference
Call Black Dog’s
Other name.
.
4 November 2019
Bear ©Bearspawprint2019

Final False Witness

 
I have
Been advised
That boot
Strap pulling
Up would
Be my
Salvation 
If only
I put
Real effort
Into smiles 
And winks
And wiggles
Perhaps I
Can use
The bootstraps
Wrapped twice
Around to
Pull myself
Up I
Will have
No use
For laceless  
Boots when
I am
Pulled up
To the
Proper stratum
Will you
Find it
Acceptable
For me
To do the
Pulling up
From your
Front hoe
The excessive
Burden of
Useless weight
Won’t stress
Your back
Already carried
By the tractor
Will you
Be compensated
Enough
For your
Bother if
A message
About your
Infinite generosity
Your compassion
Is written
In big letters
Thus protecting
Your stalwart
Reputation
You did
The best
You could
May I borrow
Your block
And tackle
I could
Jump from
The come
Along lever
I know
You don’t
Like for
Me to
Intrude in
Your space
Or plans
But it’s
Just once
And I
Have nowhere
I won’t
Ever ask
Again
I might
Have to
Tie my
Boot straps
To the
Tie-off rope
I shall
Do all
Set up
And arranging
But no
Matter what
I am sorry
You will
Be stuck
With some
Clean up
But it
Is just
This one
Time  finally
Pulled up
By my
Bootstraps
And you
Can gossip
With whomever
You like
After all
You have
Suffered
Sacrificed
Tolerated
You deserve
To be allowed
This final
False witness
 
Agawela May 21, 2015
ⓒBearspawprint2015

Found in an old file