Conversations With Bump Onna Log #15

Old Bear Wife:  My Love, why, over all these years, didn’t we go places or do anything, together?  Why did you ALWAYS go alone or with other people?

Bump Onna Log:  I didn’t always go alone.

Old Bear Wife:  Can you remember ONE time you included me?  Just ONE?

Bump Onna Log:  I’m sure there where one or two times, I just can’t recall right now.

Old Bear Wife: Where you so ashamed of me?  My appearance? My personality?  You were afraid I might say something you wouldn’t like or that others might disagree with?

Bump Onna Log:  No, I was never ashamed of you.

Old Bear Wife:  Then why did you not want me with you?

Bump Onna Log:  Would you just STOP!!

Old Bear Wife:  But you excluded me from all social happenings, even from family, from … everything …

Old Bear Wife:  (Fear and grief  on face and in voice) Was it other women you just didn’t want me to see?  Did I cramp your style? Why did you exclude me, entirely?

Bump Onna Log:  I didn’t exclude you, I just didn’t included you.

Old Bear Wife:  But why?  Where you punishing me?  Why? Revenge for some time that you felt left out?

Bump Onna Log: No. No. I SAID no.

Old Bear Wife:  Other women, was it Nancy, Inez, Libby, Faye, Rose Marie, Rose Mary? …  Who?

Bump Onna Log:  There you go accusing me!! THAT is why I left you out! If you went I KNEW you would be like this  with all the recriminations and accusations!!

Old Bear Wife:  (trying not to cry in anguish, but it leaks into voice) Oh, you were isolating me because you knew I wouldn’t like it?

Bump Onna Log:  YOU don’t make any sense.  You just go on and on and on about the same thing. Why don’t you just shut up.

Old Bear Wife:  Crying in frustration and anguish.  You just wanted to keep your options open? for new relationships?

Bump Onna Log:  You are ALWAYS angry.  You never say a kind word.    Do you just want me to quit EVERYTHING?  Never do anything?!!!! THAT is what is sounds like to me.

Old Bear Wife:  You say that whenever you know it is an activity in which I want to participate.  You even cancelled your Reunion/Birthday gathering, because you thought I might be back in time, from helping my 95 year old father.  You canceled it so I, the uninvited guest, wouldn’t crash your party.  You even don’t want me to participate in pow wows, now that you want to go.

Bump Onna Log:  There is just no use trying to please you … and all of this fuss because I want to do this ONE thing alone. You argue about everything.  I always knew how you would be like this.  You make no sense at all.  Just let it go!!! I never NOT wanted you … all this because I want to do this ONE thing by myself .








“Language expresses culture.

“The best way to modify, change, or destroy culture is to modify, change, or destroy language.”

Agawela ⓒBearspawprint2017


So many entire languages, and the associated culture, are already gone.

Language is now being used to manipulate culture, rather than culture creating language.


Wailing Sand

I hear Wind
She gives
Voice to sand
Wailing mantra
Sparking current
Friction sowing
All ancestors
Weeping in
Blowing sand
Singing wild
Calls Huracan
Spiral song
New joy
Wind sings
Her prayer
An ecstasy
With gratitude
The pure
Self Offering
Washes tears
Prayer restored


I am truly grateful for honesty.

Courage is required to face one’s self, and those whom you carry in your heart, without disguise.

Deceit is the most hurtful of betrayals.

Backstabbing and gossip and innuendo and pseudo-insights fueled by misunderstanding and half-truths can cause permanent harm of unknown magnitude through unknown generations.

Betrayal of confidence and trust can cause irreparable harm of unknown magnitude through unknown generations.

Pretending virtue, pretending to pray, doing the motions of rituals without true good intent can open the way for malignant forces and malicious entities to become part of your sphere. This can be a damaging influence, not only on your own life, but on those for whom you truly care —- If you are capable of love, what can cause more grief than to harm the innocents whom you truly care for? False intent can manifest as illness, physical damage in an accident of seemingly unknown cause, or shame, grief, and pain in the heart of the innocent one. Not knowing the why of how they feel, they can become self destructive. Please be of true good intent in all of your actions. If you say you are praying, if you are acting out the outward motions … do PRAY.

I am grateful for those who are whole with themselves and honest with the universe.

I am grateful, also, for the harsh lessons learned through painfully resolved deceit, knowing that some things will never be comfortably resolved. I know that ongoing deceit causes wounds which cannot heal, with unknown repercussions generating sadness as an essence. I also know that deceit can be resolved with honestly facing the deceit and its causes, this also causes wounds, but these wounds, though scarring, can heal.

Thank you for all that you have done.

Thank you. I thank you all.
09.01.2017 ⓒBearspawprint2017

“The truth shall set you free. But first it will piss you off.” Gloria Steinem



Dear Ones,

I am told that some Indigenous medicine people think we, as a whole, are not in Tribulation. We are in a period of Transition.

I have found that change itself is not painful, it is the resistance to change that causes conflict. Especially if those others do not understand what is necessary and are fighting conscious evolution.

Doing without a bad habit is not what is painful, it is the clinging, even addiction, to the bad habit that hurts. Individuals, groups, even masses can be addicted to bad ideas and behaviors. Aggression is a bad behavior habit. The larger the portion of humanity who cling to the nasty old habits, the more difficult achieving global peace can, and will be.

However, there are many, including Elders who have suffered greatly in this life and have gazed into the Face of Evil, offer the hope that the basic goodness of humans will tip humanity towards an altruistic future.

It is the thought of myself, Agawela, that prophecies are merely warnings, not laws, about what most probably will come to be IF change is not expediently begun, enacted, and carried out.

Prophesies do not always reveal what change is required. That is part of the difficulty of clinging to old bad habits. All addictions, including wrong thinking, conceal TRUTH and the WAY TO PEACE.

If those whose desires are stronger towards their addiction for WAR dominate, then I, Agawela, say Tribulation and Apocalypse are the same.

Human disasters, that we make ourselves, can be averted, if the causes are dealt with in a timely manner. Those causes are not hidden.

I humbly thank those who are doing, and have done, what they can to preserve, protect, and generate goodness in this world.

I thank, also, those of you who hold the heroes of this world in your hearts.
It is your love, true and from the heart that creates balance against the ugliness. Without your love there would be no hope at all.

Thank you. I thank you all.
08.30.2017 ⓒBearspawprint2017

Granny in the Information Age


Yesterday while chatting with my six year old granddaughter, answering questions about the nearby West Mims fire and how the various animals would be cared for if and when an evacuation of our home was required. Then she asked when I, and the critters  and Grandpa, were going to live in her backyard in a camper.  I replied that depended on the the fire activity and vagaries of wind and weather.

So this precocious little girl asked me what the fire was doing right then, May ten.  Having spent the day away from the computer and away from home and away from the fire area I couldn’t tell her.

That is when my age showed.

My six year old Granddaughter looked at my phone, what I call a telephone, but is really a mini-commputer, and said “Don’t you have Google?”  I replied I sort of did,  but that a box kept appearing telling me I had to do some rigamarole and download applications and buy things and so I didn’t use it. 

As I was telling her this, she reached across, mashed some icons on the touchscreen, to fast for me to see while I was watching her lovely face, then looked at me and said “There you go.”

Ha!  I started to say, “See  what I mean … ”  BUT there was an available search page for Google.  I had been struggling with this for months.  In less than two seconds she solved that problem.

I did the search, and found the information available, at that time, about the fire.  I did know where to look, but not how to use my device. 

This same child figured out how to advance through the photo library in my first digital camera when she was three.  I had no idea how to do it.  I was afraid I would delete what was not saved elsewhere.  She had no such ego fears.

This is a different world from the one in which I grew up.

Agawela May 11, 2017

Նրանք վերցրել եմ սիրում


Նրանք վերցրել եմ սիրում — Lévon Minassian

They Have Taken The One I  Love