Dissonance

By the riverside,

We walked, myself, and three dogs.

The dogs were content.

.

Bear 23November2020

ⓒBearspawprint2020

Positive Talk About SARS-COVID-19 (Bwahahahaha)

SOMETHING POSITIVE AND UPBEAT FOR YOU NO-MASKERS (unless you absolutely have to) THAT CAN ONLY TOLERATE POSITIVE GRIN GRINNY GUIDELINE GRUNTS as information; WHO CONSIDER COMMON SENSE TO BE A NEGATIVE INFLUENCE. WELL NO COMMON SENSE WRITTEN HERE. BACK ATCHA’ DEARIES
However, the BTW, at the end, is sensible.

It will be OK. 🌻 We just won’t test to confirm and then there won’t be any stats to count, hence no spike, no new infections. Viola!! 🌻
And since we know that two layer cotton masks work absolutely better than no masks, we can just slim down the anti-masker overpopulation and that will be good for everyone! 🌻 Hooray there might even be a surplus of empty housing … that no one can afford! 🌻
As for dead people, just say that any extra, two hundred thousand plus, in USA, dead people died from some other problem or co-morbidity and that this silly fickle (mutating) virus was just on the sidelines watching. 🌻
Don’t worry about any healthcare workers such as nurses or doctors or technicians or housekeeping staff, or any of those, folks. After all, risk is just part of the job. Right? Sensible people wouldn’t do a risky job like that, taking care of you, and other sick or injured persons. 🌻
There. All better. No problems in Florida. 🌻
The 37(+) dead in Nassau county don’t count, because they are dead already. 🌻
Nothing negative here. All copacetic 🌻 My goodness, even the resulting disabilities and lingering ill health are positive, because they are getting MORE, you know, POSITIVE, PLUS, not less, not minus.

BTW, It is OK to change your mind. Some of the best people have done so.
Keep in mind that old people did not get old by acting foolishly to endanger others and self, like no-maskers.

26Septmber2020
Agawela ©Bearspawprint2020

I should not have said stupid. I should have said foolish. Gonna change it. I’ve done plenty of foolish things, but mostly they did not endanger others. That is a criteria I took into account.

Dark Dance

Straddling fault lines,
We dance above the abyss.
There is no safety.
.
Bear 30January2020
ⓒBearspawprint2020

Children’s Legacy

.
.
Shall we all
One day be
Chernobyl Wolves
Running wild
Free
In a verdant
Wasteland of
Mutated glory
.
.
Agawela … 5January2020
ⓒBearspawprint2020

Do You Remember?

.
.
Winter rain falling,
Heavy, on the metal roof,
Brings back memories.
.
Bear … 4January2020
ⓒBearspawprint2020

Escape

.
.
This roof compresses my pain
Too tight knotted freedom binds
The sitting ghost composes wishes
Shuts the door heavy everywhere
The anguish I cannot contain
Swims in a liquid sky
Escaping through windows
The burning meteor glass
Shatters in rising suns
What sorrow has come again
Having never dispersed
The war twists dancing
On one leg stork stepping
Is joy an illusion of the insane
.
.
Bear…07.30.2016
ⓒBearspawprint2016
Reblog

The Shut Door

The Shut Door – non fiction

Not so long ago, late October of 2015, in an extremity of exhaustion, … physical and emotional, my little car’s gas gauge even said empty, I went to a close relative’s home to ask to rest there for the night. Before I could ask for help, I was harshly turned away. My loved ones answered the door and yelled at me “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??? ARE YOU CRAZY???!!!” This was at 8:00 PM.

I sat for a while, looking at the locked house, trying to collect my destroyed self back into my exhausted body from where I had shattered in a silent explosion of despair and grief. I didn’t understand what had happened.

It is true I did not follow proper social protocol and telephone several days ahead to ask if it was OK for me to stop by at a particular time on a prearranged evening. However, the circumstances, that brought me there, had made that courtesy completely impossible. But they didn’t know that. I took some time trying to figure out what had triggered such an extreme negative reaction to my own terrible need, and my joyous happiness, at seeing family after a prolonged (and for me, terribly trying) absence.

I had some water, which I drank. The purity of the mountain well water restored me physically. I am grateful. The personal heartbreak of the shut door has never left me.

My gas tank was empty, but I still had enough money for fuel, so I went to get it, before I continued my journey.

I stopped at a convenience store with poor exterior lighting and the parking lot was surrounded by heavy shrubbery. The clerk was a woman working alone in a “convenience” store. She asked me to stay with her a while, as it was night, well after dark, and she was alone and afraid of some persons hanging around at the edge of the parking lot. I also had noticed them while gassing up.

After the persons had gone. I stayed with her until she expressed relief, and acted, with her body language, as if she felt strong and safe again. She had also made arrangements for some nearby friends to phone her regularly.

Was this event the REAL reason that I was turned away?

Bear — 31December2019
ⓒBearspawprint2019

Becoming What Is Not

Becoming What Is Not

.
While tracking
My star,
Across the sky
Towards the west,
Following color
Streaks,
And the
Blackest
Deep,
Succumbing,
I closed
My eyes
Just for
A moment,
To rest,
So tired,
So weary was
This human flesh.
Then opened,
Startled
Awake.
The cosmos
Lurched,
A small
Gap.
My eyes,
Opened wide,
Saw the world
Had moved over
And I had not.
The ground
Was no longer
The same ground.
Red clay
Had become shale,
Sliding and unstable,
Mountains
And foothills
Pulled themselves
From beneath my feet.
I jumped and ran
But could not catch
Anything solid.
Nothing of
Substance,
Nothing
Of honor,
No truth,
What had been
Became what was not.
What would be,
Became,
What is never.
Running and
Running,
As soon
As my feet
Would feel,
Some surface,
And pause,
Only
An instant,
Only to orient,
To take
A direction
Reading,
Solid became
Liquid
And mud became mist.
I sank,
Clawing at
Words slipping
Away as breath,
As fog,
As illusion
Forcing me
To leap and
Prong, and
Fly dancing
In pursuit
Of the reality
That had gone,
Leaving my perceptions
Blinded by
Streaming tears,
My song unheard
In anguished echoes,
No meaning
But a garble of loss.
The old people
I knew,
Became new people
With different lives,
New relationships,
That I never
Dreamed in
The dreaming worlds,
Never touched
In the
Waking worlds,
These new worlds,
New beings,
Had been
Building
Themselves,
Generating
Shimmering surfaces
Only as approached,
Dissolving
When out of sight,
Described
With new languages
Of no meaning,
No feeling,
Only confusion,
A chaos new faces,
Grown older,
Grown different,
New ideas,
Translated fantasies,
Spoken in
Gibberish,
And I was
Spinning.
As each thought
Passed by me,
Tweaking my
Body,
Nudging me
To turn
A little,
To turn my head,
To my memory,
Turn and turn,
Turn my heart,
And a turn
A little
More, and
Turn more,
Faster and faster,
Until I became
A plasma wind
Spinning
In place
While all that
I knew,
As comfort,
As familiar,
As love,
Whirled around,
My spinning
Life,
My whirling death,
Dancing away
On a receding tide
Of regret.
I ran and
Ran dancing,
Crying for
Mercy,
Circling the
Abyss,
The deepest
Well of yesterdays,
Of lost
Tomorrows,
Dark shadows
Of never to be.
Spinning
Light,
Spinning
Plasma,
Hot,
Melted light,
Between what was
And what
Had now
Become
What is not.
My hair
Flew out
From my
Whirling head,
Each individual
Hair a voice
Screaming and
Whistling,
Calling spirit
Back
Into myself,
To become
All one
With the nothing
Of no hope.
I whirl,
One hand
Raised,
Open
To the vastness
That is beyond
The knowable
Seven Skies;
One hand,
Gentle across
My own
Beating heart,
And I turn,
And turn,
And I turn.
.
Bear … 11.15.2015
ⓒBearspawprint2015

Black Dog

.
There is
A Black Dog
In the corner.
He is trapped
By my despair.
His beauty
Is my anguish.
His glory
Is my pain.
He whimpers
And he howls.
Black Dog’s
Escape is fear.
Death, betrayal
And indifference
Call Black Dog’s
Other name.
.
4 November 2019
Bear ©Bearspawprint2019