Category Archives: Bear

The No Face

.
I clothe myself
In the weariness
Of a new day.
Turning East,
Squinting in
Brightness,
I laugh aloud.
I smile unseen,
My heart beating
Away the lonesome.
Yet, I long for
The no face mask
Of darkness,
The ear stopping
Silence of sorrow,
Weeping and wailing
Alone and untouched,
In the vastness
Of forsaken.
.
The No Face
Bear 26June2020
©Bearspawprint2020

Warm

.
In the silvered night
Silent shadows
Keep pace
Beside me.
Bears, wolves,
Coyotes
Melt into
Changling trees,
And full moon
Flowers.
My fear
drifts away
In the silky
darkness.
I follow,
whimpering,
Searching
For the familiar.
Blackness
Covers me
In flowing waves
Of remembered
Grief, warm
And sweet as
A lovers vows,
Withheld.
.
Agawela 06May2020
©Bearspawprint2020

28th Anniversary

.
There are
Moments,
Intense
With sweetness,
That linger,
Soothing,
Gently touching,
Trailing ripples
Through dreams.
Love whispers
Of time passing,
A grief that
Is a joy,
Of what was,
Or might
Have been.
Other years
Are lost,
In sorrow,
The lonesome
Memories
Fragmented,
Washed to
Pureness
With tears.
Yet, our hearts
Are still
Shared, with
Words not said.
Unseen, we
Spirit dance,
Our love
Blending in
Swirls like
Wind,
And music
Entwined
To evolve
The whole,
That is us,
Together,
In love.

28th Anniversary
01May2020
ⓒBearspawprint2020

Children’s Legacy

.
.
Shall we all
One day be
Chernobyl Wolves
Running wild
Free
In a verdant
Wasteland of
Mutated glory
.
.
Agawela … 5January2020
ⓒBearspawprint2020

Do You Remember?

.
.
Winter rain falling,
Heavy, on the metal roof,
Brings back memories.
.
Bear … 4January2020
ⓒBearspawprint2020

Escape

.
.
This roof compresses my pain
Too tight knotted freedom binds
The sitting ghost composes wishes
Shuts the door heavy everywhere
The anguish I cannot contain
Swims in a liquid sky
Escaping through windows
The burning meteor glass
Shatters in rising suns
What sorrow has come again
Having never dispersed
The war twists dancing
On one leg stork stepping
Is joy an illusion of the insane
.
.
Bear…07.30.2016
ⓒBearspawprint2016
Reblog

The Shut Door

The Shut Door – non fiction

Not so long ago, late October of 2015, in an extremity of exhaustion, … physical and emotional, my little car’s gas gauge even said empty, I went to a close relative’s home to ask to rest there for the night. Before I could ask for help, I was harshly turned away. My loved ones answered the door and yelled at me “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??? ARE YOU CRAZY???!!!” This was at 8:00 PM.

I sat for a while, looking at the locked house, trying to collect my destroyed self back into my exhausted body from where I had shattered in a silent explosion of despair and grief. I didn’t understand what had happened.

It is true I did not follow proper social protocol and telephone several days ahead to ask if it was OK for me to stop by at a particular time on a prearranged evening. However, the circumstances, that brought me there, had made that courtesy completely impossible. But they didn’t know that. I took some time trying to figure out what had triggered such an extreme negative reaction to my own terrible need, and my joyous happiness, at seeing family after a prolonged (and for me, terribly trying) absence.

I had some water, which I drank. The purity of the mountain well water restored me physically. I am grateful. The personal heartbreak of the shut door has never left me.

My gas tank was empty, but I still had enough money for fuel, so I went to get it, before I continued my journey.

I stopped at a convenience store with poor exterior lighting and the parking lot was surrounded by heavy shrubbery. The clerk was a woman working alone in a “convenience” store. She asked me to stay with her a while, as it was night, well after dark, and she was alone and afraid of some persons hanging around at the edge of the parking lot. I also had noticed them while gassing up.

After the persons had gone. I stayed with her until she expressed relief, and acted, with her body language, as if she felt strong and safe again. She had also made arrangements for some nearby friends to phone her regularly.

Was this event the REAL reason that I was turned away?

Bear — 31December2019
ⓒBearspawprint2019