SPITE — Music Themes

Lisa says the theme for next week is TIME.

When I found that Johnny had chosen SPITE for the Music Theme for this week, my first thought was “Ouch!! That one pinches!!” And it does pinch me. I grew up with SPITE turning the very air to ground glass, and SPITE is hiding in the words I have to fight myself to not say. Oh they slip out sometimes. SPITEFUL words can be funny.  But it is SPITE, all the same, funny or no. It really is too easy to react to grievances  of one form or another with SPITE. One of the meanest most SPITEFUL things I do, when I have been hurt, is to use vocabulary which includes terms and words  for my reproach that I know are unfamiliar to the person with whom I am disappointed. This allows me to sooth my self-rightous, elitist superior wounded self. But it is a false victory.  It is merely lowly miserable SPITE.  If vocabulary spiced with obscure special interest is the only power I feel myself to have, I use  my words as an instructive lash. I am afforded a dark spiteful joy in my broken hearted grief.
Bear …01.04.2014
I know more
Words than you.
I can make a joke
And laugh and laugh
Especially if
My heart you broke.
I know more
Words than you.
But is it right
To win every debate
And win every fight,
Just because
I did the research and
I know I am right?
I know more
Words than you.

Does it show love
When I observe from above
I’m all alone
Here and blue,
But by golly
I command more
Words than you.
I can redundantly
Screech all complaints
With terms well
Beyond your
Vocabulary’s reach.
I can out argue you
But also,
There is no one
To talk with
And no one
To joke with
To share a good pun
Just for the fun.
I know plenty more
Obscure words
Than you.
And even if
I pronounce them all wrong,
You will never know.
You refuse to
Pay attention
To what I say
To stretch and reach and grow.
I have this small
Minor human flaw
But even if I do not speak them,
Nanny nanny boo boo
I know more
Words than you do.
Sadly, my secret elitist
Attitude is not endearing.
I correctly use language
As a harsh instructive lash.
Ain’t I just a spiteful bitch?
Those are some words even you might know.
When the adrenaline and cortisol flow
All the correct and reasonable,
Non-accusatory and fair
Sesquipedalian terms seem to glow.
I am determined I
Shall raise your erudition proficiency
To my own distinctive level.
As if you cared, at all,
That I know more,
Many more, confusing
Words than you.

One fall semester I had to take my five year old son with me to class. It was a two hour class twice a week. so I had to keep my little boy, up late, entertained, fed, and quiet while also engaging in class debate and asking questions that got the professor who was also a prosecutor, off into reminiscing about when he was a uniformed deputy (just for the fun of it).
Well, Willie ( his first name was Willie) had a bunch of his lawyer prosecutor buddies, including a couple of Feds to help him grade the finals. Yes I had my 5 year old with me, during the test, and when we got our papers back. Willie then read out all of the questions and quoted some of the more interesting answers, and some of his grading committee’s debates. In addition to the regular questions, he had included two bonus questions, each worth an additional 10%. On my paper one question was marked as wrong. When the discussion reached that point, I objected, on the grounds that I was right. Willie told me/the class that my answer was the one argued about the longest until they just took a majority vote. I wanted the impossible. I wanted 120% right. So I argued. And I was the only student to convince the state prosecutor to change a grade. The person who argued that it was wrong was a federal prosecutor. Fortunately Willie didn’t let his helpers know who the tests belonged to. When Willie told the class the Fed’s nickname, I knew exactly who he was. This particular federal prosecutor, and I, had hopped trains across Canada and hitchhiked the old Alaskan Highway through the Yukon to Alaska and back through Montana and all the way back to Florida, we camped out all the way. This particular Federal Prosecutor kept beer in his canteen instead of water. Aii Yii.
Willie said if I could counter all of ___’s argument points, I could have the question. I did. I earned 125% A++++ for the semester. I was the only student to go and listen to Willie argue a murder trial. So I got another 5% for the semester.  Never before or after did I get 125% average for a class. This is a true story illustrating my determination when I argue.
This is also why I have to be very careful, and bite my spiteful tongue.


People are able to take the worst situations and create beautiful works of art and awesome music and enjoy camaraderie in SPITE of hardship.
3min. 29sec.

<a href="/channel/UC80rOmBBIhtbXYEKMnz9vzg" class=" yt-uix-sessionlink     spf-link  g-hovercard" data-ytid="UC80rOmBBIhtbXYEKMnz9vzg" data-name="" data-sessionlink="ei=DieAVMO9G4KtqQXkxYD4DQ">Alf</a>   Alf  uploaded the video and the following information and Lyrics.

Nehemiah Curtis “Skip” James (June 9,[1] 1902 — October 3, 1969[2]) was an American delta blues singer, guitarist, pianist and songwriter. Born in Bentonia, Mississippi, he first learned to play guitar from another bluesman from the area, Henry Stuckey. His guitar playing is noted for its dark, minor sound, played in an open D-minor tuning with an intricate fingerpicking technique. James first recorded for Paramount Records in 1931, but these recordings sold poorly due to the Great Depression, and he drifted into obscurity. After a long absence from the public eye, James was “rediscovered” in 1964 by three blues enthusiasts, helping further the blues and folk music revival of the 1950s and early 60s. During this period, James appeared at several folk and blues festivals and gave live concerts around the county, also recording several albums for various record labels. He died in 1969 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. His songs have influenced several generations of musicians, being adapted by Kansas Joe McCoy, Robert Johnson, Cream, Deep Purple, Chris Thomas King, Alvin Youngblood Hart, Beck, Big Sugar, and Rory Block.


Hard time’s is here
An ev’rywhere you go
Times are harder
Than th’ever been befo’

Um, hm-hm
Um, hm-hm
Um, hm-hm-hm

You know that people
They are driftin’ from do’ to do’
But they can’t find no heaven
I don’t care where they go

Um, hm-hm
Um, hm-hm-hm

People, if I ever can get up
Off a-this old hard killin’ flo’
Lord, I’ll never get down
This low no mo’

Um, hm-hm-hm
Hm, um-hm
Hm, hm-hm
Hm, hm-hm-hm

Well, you hear me singin’
This old lonesome song
People, you know these hard times
Can’t last us so long

Hm, hm-hm
Hmm, hmm
Hm, hm-hm
Hm, hm-hm, oh Lord

You know, you’ll say you had money
You better be sho’
But these hard times gon’ kill you
Just drive a lonely soul

Um, hm-hm
Umm, hmm
Umm, hm-hm
Hm, hm-hm-hm

Hmm, hm-hm-hm
Johnny     Johnny
Lisa    Lisa


13 comments on “SPITE — Music Themes

  1. 1EarthUnited says:

    Bear, not sure why you would consider u’r actions spiteful… it seems u’r overly hard and spiteful towards u’rself. You seem even-handed and open minded to me, so if you have strong opinions – I would call that courageous, gumption, balls… why apologize for u’r strengths?
    Personally I like being challenged because it makes me think broader. In this age of political correctness, perhaps we become too self conscious/ self critical and it takes away part of our voice.
    The definition of spite is a desire to hurt, annoy, or offend someone, so we still have to be mindful not to do that.
    here’s a question for you, if the recipient of your spite refuses to accept your “gift” of spite, then did you really spite “them” or yourself? All these lowly emotions seem illusory to me, so if it doesn’t resonate, how can it be real or affect me in any way? In that regard, we are only mirrors for each other, and so goal of life is to observe ourselves fully and act correctly according to the present situation. Yes this is a Buddhist perspective, but it works for me.
    I enjoyed u’r story, no need to apologize for being proficient debater and having the determination and drive to excel/ win. Just observe why we need to win, is it for the greater good of just for ourselves. Well for what it’s worth, I appreciate your spirit. 😉

    I enjoy listening to Skip James, recently did a post on him – same song too!

    So glad he got the recognition he deserved, amazing blues contributor. Have a great day & Cheers!


    • Thank you so very much. My spiteful use of language emerged when I realized, in my first marriage that I could be wounded and broken hearted, for the rest of my life, or I could be angry and confrontational or I could be indifferent. Well, the first two I had worked through inside myself, but when I consciously decided to no longer cared what he felt or did, then this spiteful behavior emerged. It was too easy for me to slip into this dominatrix way of thinking. I used language was a whip and lashed him to ribbons every time he looked at me sideways. It only took me twenty years (19.5yrs.) to come to my senses behave this way, and another 2 months to decide divorce was the only sensible thing to do. How could I raise my boys to be well adjusted kind hearted strong me if I tolerated the bad behavior of their daddy, my husband, or if I was angry all the time, and their daddy behaved even worse, feeling it now justified, or if as in this final stage kept cracking figurative whips? What kind of women would my sons fall for, how would they behave? Nope. It all became toxic, I found myself to have a real aptitude for being a really awful, and we divorced. Those first three sons from that marriage are now good, handsome, kind, accomplished, happily married, healthy, wonderful men. My daughters-in-law tell me “thank you”, and my life has moved on, as well. That was a quarter of a century ago. I was really surprised, and horrified, to find myself, enjoying greatly, being a spiteful bitch, that he desesrved it only allowed me to falsly justify my own emerging nasty side. My first husband had (and still has) many more good qualities than unfortunate. He and I have different ideas about some very basic standards of behavior. Oh well, I was only a spiteful bitch for a couple of months. Though I do still have in my large and diverse arsenal should I happen need it.

      Thank you Magical Marvelous Maddie. https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2013/07/14/c-d-smith-artist/ about half-way through this video is a photograph of (some of) the Gen Wa Kai Dojo. C.D. is my oldest son’s Godfather. My husband is in the center of that photo, with the dark hair.
      I can’t tell if this is a link, or just words. If you do a search for C.D. Smith – Artist, in the little search box on the right side bar, it’ll go there. C. D was one of the musicians that played music at our house most weekends … I do miss that, more than I can say … 😦
      C. D. Smith — Artist Jul 14
      Again, thank you Maddie. You have a lot insight for such a young woman.

      You are right, I do castigate myself unmercifully, at times.


      • 1EarthUnited says:

        Spite is probably a defense mechanism, a vestigial response of our reptilian brain to survive a perceived attack. When our consciousness grows, it’s no longer a part of our emotional arsenal.
        yup, we all played the spiteful bitch role, until it no longer serves us. I’m naturally an introvert, so being spiteful or angry only makes me feel all yucky inside. I’d rather question the controversy and get to the root of the problem, much better resolution. I’ve had enough experiences to know empowering everyone is the way to go, I feel enriched. Thanks for your compliment, but I’m not without fault, I have a bad temper when things don’t go my way… but now I try to direct my anger toward constructive solutions or step back and keep my mouth shut!
        “I do castigate myself unmercifully”… does that mean u’r a perfectionist as well?

        Thanks for sharing the CD Smith video with me, I enjoyed his insightful quote at the beginning, and his journey thru the eyes of an artist. I really do appreciate artists and musicians, sharing their talent, people never fail to amaze me. I am fortunate in this regard, NYC has great venues, many talented musicians performing open mikes and coffee shop gigs. And nowadays everyone’s putting their stuff on youtube so it’s exciting and a good opportunity to get recognized. Owel, a local band from Brooklyn performing the local circuit and I was introduced to Jay thru a mutual friend. His band has a nice sound, ambient club music, nice to relax to and I enjoy hanging out with them, mixing the tracks at the studio. Here’s a sample of their work:
        and here’s a popular cover:

        I’m impressed by his voice and maturity, I love that creative vision the artist sees and tries to relate with his audience, it creates a lovely bond.

        Well enjoy the music, and I appreciate your vision of the world thru poetry and musical expression. Thanks for sharing your love of art and music. 🙂


        • C.D. is Godfather of oldest son and friend, going blind. Did you notice he is left-handed? Ken Miller made a left-handed banjo for him. Ex is the singing voice, playing guitar, the dark fellow in the photo.

          “…does that mean u’r a perfectionist as well?…” No, it means that no one else dares call me on it when I indulge my lesser self.

          Mostly I don’t write about such things until it is all in the ancient past and/or the interested parties are unlikely to recognized themselves or they have passed away from this life, or they no longer fit the old profile, nor do I.

          I have found that a little venom of the right sort, in the right dosage, at the right time, used the right way can have a beneficial effect. Like capsaicin.

          I am not a particularly spiteful person. But every once in a while some old hurt or grievance or unfair sacrifice that was required of me will percolate up into my awareness, then it is similar to when meditating and thoughts or feeling drift by, you have to acknowledge them or they’ll pester until they are acknowledged, so it is acknowledge and let them go. Well these old happenings or feelings that I was too busy to take time for, or too many impressionable watchers (children and young adults and teens) or I felt I wasn’t strong enough, yet, and so would postpone until I had the time, privacy, strength to deal with it … and here it is voila now … all the whatevers … and now, like in meditation, I have to acknowledge what is drifting about, and judge myself on what I did or did not do, in the past, and acknowledge that judgment, acknowledge my feelings, take time to actually feel whatever it is I did not before, experience whatever I must, and let it go. Or not. Depending. I do try to be honest with myself. I try to acknowledge, at least to myself, what it is I am really doing, and what will be the consequences and is that acceptable or perhaps even desirable.

          Also, I know that as soon as I resolve … anything … the universe will challenge my resolve. Almost instantly. Ha!! Every time!! And I much prefer to rebuke myself BEFORE poisoned arrows come flying at me from outer space or … some near by challenge materializes that I am unprepared for. There are enough of those, regardless 😀
          Thanks for the links ⭐


    • https://bearspawprint.wordpress.com/2013/07/14/c-d-smith-artist/
      T’is my X playing guitar, singing. In the dojo photo, Ex, C. D. on the (facing) left end, and the young man behind C. D. are Sho-Dan 初段 Some members, women, are not in that photo. The others, pictured, are in various degrees of transience. That photo is circa 1975.


    • 😀 Thanks, Maddie, for the link to your post with Skip James LOL 😀 The top one is the SAME recording, but the illustration painting is of some one else, I think. 😀 😀


      • 1EarthUnited says:

        I believe the illustrated painting of Skip was an earlier recording of his song performed as a young man during the great depression. Naturally he sounded different, but fortunately a few bluesmen revived his songs and they recorded him once more in the 60’s.


  2. Lisa says:

    This music theme was hard and emotional.

    Liked by 1 person


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