Safe ——- by Bear

That “I wasn’t aware”

Does not mean I do not care.

It’s merely that

Your burden is not mine to bear.

My own back is stiff

But not in pain, certainly not the agony

You purport yours to be.

*******

*******

That you live in misery

Is plain for me to see.

If I suggest “Why don’t you go

Back in your little room?”

It isn’t really fate and doom.

I merely prefer to not see

What you have come to be.

*******

 *******

If you have movement issues

And stagger and fall,

I’ll assume and accuse

“Too many pills won’t cure all ills.”

Even though I know you

No longer have any meds at all.

*******

*******

But if you cry in despair

As your sting-nettle skin

Burns with electric sizzles in the air

And I say

“Can’t you just take a pill and feel better?”

Even though I do know you

No longer have any meds at all.

*******

 *******

When the Jinn pull your hair

And whisper curses in your ear,

Alien words that I will never hear,

It doesn’t mean that

I don’t care

It’s merely what I prefer,

When I say  “I wasn’t aware.”

*******

*******

So if you love me

Go.

Hide your pain and misery.

Stay in your little room

Wallow alone in your damned

Doom and gloom

So what if your nerves are shot?

Please know that mine are not.

Don’t ask me for sympathy.

Go.  Let me be.

*******

*******

It’s not that I don’t care,

I just want to be safe when I say that

“I wasn’t aware.”

 *******

 *******

.

5 comments on “Safe ——- by Bear

  1. Wow….I found my emotions heating up when I read this…I got right into it! Great writing! I once hid ALL of my feelings—stoic—-sometimes I am tempted to retreat to that…but, I do not think it will work anymore. I do find that many people cannot deal with others’ feelings…especially mine…lol.

    Like

    • I imagine you never had time to stop and grieve. Not with all the myriad people who have always depended on you. All of your personal losses and tragedies, heartbreaks and physical hardships just had to be pushed aside so you could do what had to be done. After all, who else would do it? Though I have only read hints of what you have done with your life, I do admire you a great deal. — Bear

      Like

  2. willowdot21 says:

    I think we all think like this!

    Like

    • Which side? I suspect you are the one who tries to keep the worst of it hidden, except when you absolutely cannot, rather than the one who refuses to recognize another’s distress, even within your own household. I imagine you as offering solace to all who are close to you, and even some of us who are strangers, drawing from the deep well of womanhood. Perhaps MOST people seek the illusion of safety by being ignorant. But not all. Not you. Not me.

      Like

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