That “I wasn’t aware”
Does not mean I do not care.
It’s merely that
Your burden is not mine to bear.
My own back is stiff
But not in pain, certainly not the agony
You purport yours to be.
*******
*******
That you live in misery
Is plain for me to see.
If I suggest “Why don’t you go
Back in your little room?”
It isn’t really fate and doom.
I merely prefer to not see
What you have come to be.
*******
*******
If you have movement issues
And stagger and fall,
I’ll assume and accuse
“Too many pills won’t cure all ills.”
Even though I know you
No longer have any meds at all.
*******
*******
But if you cry in despair
As your sting-nettle skin
Burns with electric sizzles in the air
And I say
“Can’t you just take a pill and feel better?”
Even though I do know you
No longer have any meds at all.
*******
*******
When the Jinn pull your hair
And whisper curses in your ear,
Alien words that I will never hear,
It doesn’t mean that
I don’t care
It’s merely what I prefer,
When I say “I wasn’t aware.”
*******
*******
So if you love me
Go.
Hide your pain and misery.
Stay in your little room
Wallow alone in your damned
Doom and gloom
So what if your nerves are shot?
Please know that mine are not.
Don’t ask me for sympathy.
Go. Let me be.
*******
*******
It’s not that I don’t care,
I just want to be safe when I say that
“I wasn’t aware.”
*******
*******
.
bearspawprint 
Wow….I found my emotions heating up when I read this…I got right into it! Great writing! I once hid ALL of my feelings—stoic—-sometimes I am tempted to retreat to that…but, I do not think it will work anymore. I do find that many people cannot deal with others’ feelings…especially mine…lol.
LikeLike
I imagine you never had time to stop and grieve. Not with all the myriad people who have always depended on you. All of your personal losses and tragedies, heartbreaks and physical hardships just had to be pushed aside so you could do what had to be done. After all, who else would do it? Though I have only read hints of what you have done with your life, I do admire you a great deal. — Bear
LikeLike
I think we all think like this!
LikeLike
Which side? I suspect you are the one who tries to keep the worst of it hidden, except when you absolutely cannot, rather than the one who refuses to recognize another’s distress, even within your own household. I imagine you as offering solace to all who are close to you, and even some of us who are strangers, drawing from the deep well of womanhood. Perhaps MOST people seek the illusion of safety by being ignorant. But not all. Not you. Not me.
LikeLike
No not you and I pray to God not me either.we all need to reach out and help all those who need help. It is not easy is it. 😉
LikeLike